Computer Resuscitated After 6 Rounds of Ctrl+Alt+Del
NASHVILLE, TN - Gomerblog is happy to report that a code team at Nashville Medical Center (NMC) has successfully resuscitated an old nurses station computer after 6 rounds of Ctrl+Alt+Del.
"The computer became so slow that...
An Internist’s Guide to Ophtho Abbreviations
Ophthalmology has so many alien abbreviations, it's like they have their own specialty. Thanks to the recent discovery of a missing piece of the Rosetta Stone, we have recently gained some insight into their...
Breaking: Patient Taking Blood Thinner to Keep Blood Thin!
KEARNEY, NE - Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Naya Statin was in for a revelation when gathering medication history from a new patient Gabby Pentin.
"I see that you are taking a blood thinner," Statin asked. "What is...
To Control Patient Volumes, Hospital Takes Down Hospital Signs Within 5-Mile Radius
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Exhausted from record levels of ER visits as reflected in recent CEDOCS scores, emergency department staff at University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB) Health System are taking a proactive approach and removing...
Patient Admits That Her Cardiologist’s Bloody Skull & Crossbones Tattoo is Making Her a...
ROCHESTER, MN - "Look, I know he's a world-renowned cardiologist, but call me crazy, I'm having a few reservations." That's what patient Vera Brown told Gomerblog after she noticed a large skull & crossbones...
Consultant Tries Being Nice, Decides It’s Overrated
On Friday afternoon, top gastroduodenopathologist Dr. Reedol D. Specimenz made a life-changing decision. "I wanted to try something new," says the forty-four-year-old specialist, sipping a glass of Dom Perignon on the top deck of...
AMA Adds Complaining As An Official Vital Sign
After extensive deliberation, the American Medical Association has decided to make complaining a vital sign.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, complaining “is to say or write that you are unhappy, sick, uncomfortable, etc., or that...
Breaking: Gastroenterologist Thinks Patient is Full of Sh*t
COOKEVILLE, TN - A local gastroenterologist by the name of Baxter Jones completely shocked patient Mason Watts and his family when he flat out told them that Watts was simply full of sh*t.
"He told...
NEJM Bombshell: Sucks being the last admission of the night shift.
In what should not be a surprise to anyone, the New England Journal of Medicine published a study confirming that patients admitted at the tail end of the night shift have lower diagnostic accuracy,...
PPE Shortage: TB Patient Tests Negative for COVID-19, Placed on Standard Precautions
ARLINGTON, TX – Local hospital that struggles with personal protective equipment (PPE) shortage, decide to triage its usage among his health providers. To that end, an intubated patient with pulmonary tuberculosis was tested for...
