Disgusting! This Patient’s Cranial Nerves Were Grossly Intact
When you didn't think medicine could deliver any more heebie-jeebies, this clinic just received a large, overnight shipment of them. Last week, per the medical chart, Dr. Alex Krane saw someone that had 11...
Transfer Records Lacking Hundreds of Useless Pages
PHILADELPHIA, PA – Dr. Rajiv Katar, a physician at Philadelphia General Hospital, was astonished on Friday to receive transfer records that included a discharge summary – and only that – lacking the usual several-hundred-page...
Family Admits That Putting Grandma in the Top Bunk was Probably a Bad Idea
BROOKLYN, NY - After thinking back on the events that had transpired over the past week, the family of 98-year-old Bertha Schwartz, who presented to Maimonides Medical Center with a left femoral neck fracture...
Ventilator More Effective When Connected to Endotracheal Tube
KEARNEY, NE - It was a close call for Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Dan G. Ross of when his ventilated patient started to desaturate. The brand-new intern was left alone with the critically-ill patient...
Cardiothoracic Surgeon Consults IT, Tries Turning Heart Off Then Back On Again
Cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Richard White is always willing to collaborate with the health care team so he called St, Francis Hospital’s help desk today to ask for a consult on his difficult patient.
“Hi, tech...
Study: Average Coffee Sip-to-Sh*t Time is 29 Seconds
AUSTIN, TX - It is well-known that coffee stimulates the morning number twos in about 30% of people who drink the life-sustaining nectar. A new study in the New England Journal of Defecation has...
New Movantik (The Poop Medication) Commercial – Parody
Naloxegol or Movantik was made famous during the Super Bowel when we were all graced with a constipation ad to help fight the opioid crisis. Here was the original unedited ad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNQ3sxvslhQ
New Attending Receives First Paycheck, Transforms into Fully Developed Republican
WATERLOO, IA - Shortly after receiving his first paycheck, Trent Perry, a physician in his first year of practice, finally emerged from his cocoon of liberalism as a fully developed Republican. When asked to...
Breaking: Ronald McDonald Suffers ST-Elevation McFarction
OAK BROOK, IL - Beloved clown mascot Ronald McDonald has suffered another heart attack this morning, and was taken to Oak Brook Medical Center for emergent management, McDonald's President and CEO Steve Easterbrook has...
Salivation Army Collects Record Number of Oral Secretions for Those in Need
LONDON, ENGLAND - The Salivation Army, an organization renowned all the world over for its charitable efforts, has announced that a recent donation drive ending this past week has produced over 5 billion gallons of oral...