Internal Medicine

55-hour ENERGY

FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has approved 55-hour ENERGY drinks effective immediately since improved work conditions...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Confirms ‘Something Going Around’

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ATLANTA, GA – In a recent press briefing, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed reports that something has been going around.  Constance Bentley, a senior official at the CDC, stated, “We’re not sure...

Top 10 Perks of Being a VIP in a Hospital

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1. Hospital volunteers will give you piggyback rides wherever you need to go. Don’t bother using your legs to move around the hospital.  Our dedicated stable of volunteers will carry you around on their backs....
eyeball exam

Internal Medicine Resident Performs IPPA on Eye Exam OSCE Station

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An internal medicine resident at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Canada provided some much-needed entertainment for a bored OSCE examiner during part II of the qualifying exams for medical licensure in Canada. “It...
curbside

Doctor Curbsides Doctor at Curbside

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ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is on scene to report that Dr. Andrea Pascal of Internal Medicine has just curbsided Dr. Andy Rapp of Infectious Diseases at curbside, a partially-painted yellow one.  The encounter is taking place near...
PA

PA Furious for Being Mistaken for Nurse, Struggles to Explain She’s Not a Physician

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CHICAGO, IL - Physician assistant (PA) Susan Jonesby was doing morning discharge planning for her employer Galen-Vaselius Orthopaedics when tragedy of unimaginable proportions ruined her day.  While entering the room of her 86-year-old patient...
doctors and nurses rate patients

P.H.O.N.Y. The Newest Acronym Training Program for Improving Patient Satisfaction

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Doctors and nurses are trained again and again on customer service but there is room for improvement. Following well-known acronym step programs comes … P.H.O.N.Y. Administrators have learned that it is not enough for patient...
double portions

No Way, Jose: Patient Request for Double Portions Denied, Made NPO as Punishment

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BALDWIN, NY - In a defiant stance against a patient Rick Moravsky's request for double portions despite his ongoing treatment for CHF (congestive heart failure) exacerbation, family medicine attending Maureen O'Dea not only told his...
zodiac sign Cancer

The Zodiac Sign Cancer Undergoes First Round of Chemotherapy

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THE SKY ABOVE - Cancer, one of the twelve constellations of the zodiac, is undergoing its first round of chemotherapy at Beta Cancri Medical Center this morning and is reportedly in good spirits and...
transporting patient

ICU Admits Patient to ED

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BUFFALO, NY - In a stunning turn of events last night at Sacrebleu Memorial Hospital, Pulmonary & Critical Care fellow Damien Dunlope earned headlines by forever changing the often-stressed ED/ICU dynamic. According to witnesses, it...