Internal Medicine

toilet paper

Is 2-Ply 2-Much to Ask For?!

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NORFOLK, VA - Outrage has erupted from the Colorectal Department of Medi-Ocre Hospital over substandard staff toilet rolls.  Professor Daniel Rears has spearheaded this campaign to upgrade the staff's toilet paper (TP). "Look, it's pretty simple...
fax form

Med Student Eager to Fax This Form with “All That I’ve Got”

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NASHVILLE, TN - Only hours into her first internal medicine clerkship, third-year Vanderbilt University medical student Erin Sperling is a tad bit nervous but all smiles and eager to fax this one-page form, this...
medical specialist

Tips for Being a Medical Specialist

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Specialists are special physicians, not just doctors but lords of medical dominions. A Specialist must do several things to the patient—Specialists do things TO people, not for them—because we are special. We spent many...
father's day

Father’s Day Gifts by Medical Specialty

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Dads are notoriously difficult to shop for and physicians are no exception.  To help the kids of physicians who just realized that Sunday is Father’s Day, here is a guide to help you figure...

Comey Urologist Confirms: He is a Leaker

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last week former FBI director James Comey made a startling disclosure: he had given parts of his opening statement before the Senate Intelligence Committee to a friend with the hopes he...

Millions of Men are Getting Bactrim for Summer

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With summer here a new trend is sweeping the nation among Mediterranean-descent men: Bactrim. When we looked into this odd trend, via google search, we were shocked at the results. WebMD says that Bactrim is...

Orthopod Writes a Longer Note Than Hospitalist: Metaphysical Calamity Ensues

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KEARNEY, NE - Fatefully cleaving the time line in two, an orthopedic surgeon at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) wrote a progress note longer than the hospitalist. The improbable event triggered an escalating series of...

10 Photos From the 2017 American Diabetes Association Conference They Don’t Want You to...

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The American Diabetes Association (ADA) was relentlessly mocked on Twitter over the weekend for asking conference attendees to remove any tweets that contain photography of the conference. This was viewed as a threat to open...
award student loans

Physician Wins Award for Paying Off Student Loans

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WASHINGTON, DC - Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price was pleased to announce this week that 58-year-old internist Dale Mitchell has been awarded the 2017 FAFSA Memorial Perseverance Award for successfully paying off...