Internal Medicine

sword swallower reflux

Sword Swallower Wondering Why He Has Reflux All of a Sudden

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TAMPA, FL - With a quizzical look on his face and a first held to his epigastrium, circus performer and sword swallower, Matthew the Magnificent, told Gomerblog that he is stymied because he can't...

National Spelling Bee Update: All 291 Kids Eliminated After Failing to Spell ‘Dysdiadochokinesia’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - For the first time in the history of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, all 291 of the country's best young spellers were eliminated in last night's finals after failing to spell...
PA

The Best Places to Cry in the Hospital

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Need to have yourself a good cry, but not sure where to go?  Gomerblog is here to help!  We followed 15 interns for an entire year and have come up with a list of...
Kevin Bacon sixth-degree heart block

Breaking News: Kevin Bacon Diagnosed with Sixth-Degree Heart Block

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LOS ANGELES, CA - After developing the sudden onset of shortness of breath, self-proclaimed Center of the Universe Kevin Bacon was rushed to UCLA Medical Center where he has been found to have sixth-degree heart...
traffic jam Flonase

Doctor Tries to Clear Up Traffic Congestion with Flonase

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ATLANTA, GA - Sincerely hoping that the rush-hour traffic this afternoon is just a manifestation of seasonal allergies, internist Roger Willoughby has just given two spritzes of Flonase (fluticasone) outside of both his driver's...

Oh No! ZDoggMD was Attacked by a Lion on Live Stream

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LAS VEGAS, NV - Looks like Healthcare 3.0 will have to wait.  ZDoggMD was attacked by a lion on his live stream today.  ZDogg wuz droppin' hard line after hard line about the problems...
antibiotic free

Local Organic Mom Pleased to Have All Natural, Antibiotic-Susceptibility-Free Infection

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Local organic mom, Fern Meadow, is pleased that her life-threatening leg infection is pandrug-resistant. “When I spiked a fever and saw red streaks going up my leg I didn’t want to go...
red blood cells

Breaking: Patient Taking Blood Thinner to Keep Blood Thin!

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KEARNEY, NE - Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Naya Statin was in for a revelation when gathering medication history from a new patient Gabby Pentin. "I see that you are taking a blood thinner," Statin asked.  "What is...
big sur Mother Nature

Pacific Coast Highway Closed After Mother Nature Has Large Bowel Movement

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BIG SUR, CA - A massive landslide that buried a quarter mile of California's scenic Pacific Coast Highway last week has been attributed to a large bowel movement on behalf of Mother Nature. "We initially thought...

ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%

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SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game.  In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations must be considered.  Sutter Health instituted a Dilaudid Salt Lick™ to...