NASA Nurses Still Awaiting Callback from Extraterrestrial Docs
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Saying it's been well over 45 minutes since they had sent the pages, nurses at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) are still awaiting callbacks from any of several extraterrestrial...
New Medical Unit Quiet Hours Now From 3 PM to 2:59 PM
NASHVILLE, TN - In an effort to provide much needed peace and quiet for the medical staff, Unit 4G at Nashville Memorial Hospital has extended its quiet hours, which will now take...
Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath
ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force and maximum torque" and absolutely looks forward to the horrific...
Top 10 Ways to Really Piss Your Nurse Off
Ever wonder how you can really piss off your nurse taking care of you in the hospital? If you are like most of us, the answer is probably a resounding YES. The problem is...
American Nurses Association Pulls the Plug on Nursing Diagnosis
WASHINGTON, DC - After a close 38-to-35 vote, the leaders of the American Nurses Association (ANA) voted to eliminate the nursing diagnosis from nursing notes and electronic health records. There will no longer be...
Intern Asks Nurse for Multiple Choices Before Making Decision
On his first week as a surgery intern, Dane Colbert began what is sure to be a storied career in medicine by asking the nurse who paged him if he could have four options to...
ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%
SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game. In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations must be considered. Sutter Health instituted a Dilaudid Salt Lick™ to...
Today is National Destroy Your Pyxis with a Sledgehammer Day
SILVER SPRING, MD - Nurses, it’s time to rejoice! The American Nurses Association (ANA) has officially declared today National Destroy Your Pyxis with a Sledgehammer Day!
“Nurses, report to your closest Pyxis machine!!!” announced the...
Nurse Confesses She’s Just In It To Get Yelled At
AUSTIN, TX - Nurse Regan Ludwig recently admitted to ABC News that she works incredibly hard as a nurse because she just loves getting yelled at. From 7 am to 7 pm, the job...
Study: Doctors Can’t Operate an IV Infusion Pump Even If Life Depended On It
BALDWIN, NY - A new study in the New England Journal of Alaris (NEJA) confirmed something we knew all along: doctors can't operate an IV infusion pump for anything, even if their lives depended on it....
