Thursday, March 28, 2024

OB-GYN

Daredevil Patient on Bed Jumps Through Ring of Fire

0
LAS VEGAS, NV - Patient Brian McDowell put on a show for the ages, as he became the first patient on a hospital bed to successfully leap through a ring of fire unscathed.  Performed during...
Doula scuba

Doula Training Offering Scuba Certification for Water Births

0
NEW HAVEN, CT – The National Doula Organization (NDO) made an announcement yesterday that they are offering SCUBA classes for their doulas to help assist in water births. “It was only natural to offer this...
ACOG

The ACOG Changes Pregnancy to 42 Weeks, Makes Dividing into Trimesters Easier

2
HILLBRANCH, SC – The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG) recently released groundbreaking news: pregnancy will now be extended to 42 weeks instead of the typical 40 weeks. This was put into place because mothers...
used speculum tongue depressor

CDC: Stop Using Purulent Speculums as Tongue Depressors

0
ATLANTA, GA - Disturbed by a surge in case reports driven by medical providers who are either short on equipment or just extremely lazy, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued...
laughter best medicine Ativan

Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth

0
BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine?  Not any more.  According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England Journal of Medicine, Ativan is the best medicine with laughter falling...
confused doctor

Patient’s Pregnancy Test Positive Despite Denying Sexual Activity; Obstetricians Baffled

0
A 15-lead ECG, two X-rays, an ultrasound, a full-body CT, an MRI with gadolinium, and still, a mystery. “It’s perplexing, that’s for sure,” said Dr. Jouseph Wong, senior obstetrician.  Dr. Wong and his colleagues have been...
obstetrician

OB/GYN with Tiny Fingers Has Zero Idea What a Cervix Feels Like

0
TUCSON, AZ - A retiring obstetrician, who has requested to remain anonymous for this piece, recently issued a public statement of admission. Presumably to remove this large burden from his conscience, he stated, “I’ve...

This Physician Won the KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes. Here’s Why.

0
TWITTER – The social media giant was abuzz today when news broke that John Roberts, a primary care physician from Sioux Falls, SD, had won the much anticipated “KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes.” Dr. Roberts...

Obstetrician Preferred to be Called ‘Vagician’

0
TARNIHONNOK, MD - Local OB/GYN or self proclaimed vagician, Dr. Fredrick Schmidt, refuses to wear traditional scrubs in the delivery room.  He'll dim the lights, start the smoke machine, queue The Final Countdown, and then...
couple kissing

Physician Foreplay 101: How to Seduce Your Doctor

132
Seduce any doctor by using valuable information about his or her specialty to ensure total success in the bedroom. Emergency Medicine Go skydiving to get the adrenaline going.  Speed home.  Once there, run upstairs and cut...