Friday, March 29, 2024

Pediatrics

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Breaking: CDC Warns of Cooties Outbreak in Children

0
ATLANTA, GA - Parents pay close attention: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a new warning to the American public against a possible cooties outbreak in children under the age of...
hospital emergency room boarding

‘Twas the Night After Christmas

0
'Twas the Night After Christmas ‘Twas the night after Christmas, at the front of the house, The parents were lined up, all running their mouths. Neb tubing was hung from the med cart with care For all of...
surgeon biopsy malignant fusion

Surgery Residents Bring Other MDs to Work for a Day

0
5:00 am: Arrive at hospital. Peds and Psych are borderline comatose still. Medicine seems confused to find that the hospital lights work this early in the day. Anesthesia is saying that he’s already hungry. Radiology is running...

OB/GYNs Clarify That Five-Second Rule Does Not Apply to Babies

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a statement released earlier this week by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the nation's leading obstetricians and gynecologists dispelled rumors that the widely believed "five-second rule" applies...
doctor dreaming

After Seeing 22 Patients in 90 Minutes, Area Pediatrician Rehearses for Her Eventual Last...

0
“I thought about running directly into traffic,” says Dr. Jane Smith of her state of mind after seeing 22 walk-in patients in 90 minutes.  “That’s technically only 4 minutes per patient.  But then I...
female physician

Physician Still Hasn’t Received Her Big-Pharma Payout

0
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Newly-minted attending physician, Dr. Lindsay Moliarty, has a pile of bills to pay: $200,000 in student loans that has accrued $60,000 in interest while struggling to stay afloat during residency...
babystroller ICD-10 codes

ICD-10 Primer, Lesson 4: Babystroller Documentation

0
One of the biggest complaints by providers of teenage and adult patients about ICD-9 was the absence of codes pertaining to babystrollers.  Thankfully ICD-10 has its priorities straight and addressed this.  Babystrollers are one...
Crayola, codes

Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes

0
EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced the release of a new 64 ct. Hospital Code System,...

Top 5 Medical Practices of 2016

0
The list is out, the critics have weighed in, and of course a list was generated.  The TOP MEDICAL PRACTICES of 2016 are here.  So let's kick them off: 5: Mayo Clinic - As you...

Justin Timberlake: I’m Bringing Measles Baaaack

0
Recently Justin Timberlake announced to the world that he is not planning to vaccinate his child.  Evidently all the scientific evidence looks different behind those sexy eyes.  Like other celebrity anti-vaxxers, Justin is so adamantly...