News-in-Brief

Short Articles for Your Short Attention Span

Gerbil bowel prep tsunami

Gerbil in Colon Nervously Awaits Bowel Prep Tsunami

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SOME DUDE'S COLON - Gerald the Gerbil just received the bad news that his whereabouts have been discovered, and now he nervously awaits the...
colon run a new scope

Inside Peak at Star Wars: A New Scope

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Gomerblog has got its hands on a leaked screenshot from the latest upcoming Star Wars standalone film.  Though little is known...

Army Medical Student Disappointed to Hear Apache II Score Has Nothing to Do with...

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Third year medical student and prior helicopter pilot, Tim McGrowler, was disappointed to find out that the APACHE II has nothing to...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Director Resigns, Becomes CEO of Tobacco Giant Philip Morris

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ATLANTA, GA - The Director of the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) Brenda Fitzgerald has officially resigned her CDC post to become CEO of tobacco...

Hospital Bans Seeing-Eye Dog from OR, ADA Suit Follows

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FORT WAYNE, IL - Memorial Hospital has barred Dr. Alan Peterson from bringing his seeing-eye dog, Karmen, into the operating room (OR) where he has...

Local Man Relieved He Was Able to Yell at His Surgeon Just Before Going...

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HERSHEY, PA – Early reports are coming in that local man, Frank Demmer, chewed out his surgeon in pre-operative bay five.  "I’m just happy...

Doctor Puts Tostitos Restaurant Style Chips and Salsa in Waiting Room, Business Booms

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Dr. Dufunk, while watching Dancing with the Stars with his wife, noticed during a commercial that putting Tostitos Restaurant Style Chips out in your...

Da Vinci on Pace to Win Gold in the All-Around

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Da Vinci Robot came to the Olympic games with high hopes. Bob Costas has called him "the single greatest...

Study: Heimlich Maneuver Not Effective on Choking Athletes

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AUGUSTA, GA - On the heels of Jordan Spieth's epic collapse during the final round of the Masters in April, a study published in...

Patient Elated to Get Terminal Diagnosis Days After Election

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DENVER, CO - Jason Jerry, age 25, of Colorado sat in his oncologist’s office today and received perceivably the best news he could imagine....