Surgeons Remove Penis, Sex Toy Saved
NEW YORK, NY - Surgeons at University Hospital of Manhattan have performed a remarkable surgery on an unnamed male patient who presented to the Emergency Department with his penis and testicles caught in a sex toy/restraint...
Bovie Electrocautery Receives FDA Approval for Cutting Red Tape
SILVER SPRING, MD - In an unprecedented move by the Food & Drug Administration (FDA), Bovie electrocautery has been approved for both incisional and excisional biopsies of both state and federal subtypes of red tape....
CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving
ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding family and other loved ones that "friends don't let friends drive...
Area LEGO Man Admitted with Bright Red Blocks Per Rectum
LEGOLAND, FL - An area LEGO man is in serious condition at LEGOLAND Medical Center after he presented to the emergency department (ED) with bright red blocks per rectum (BRBPR). "He had 3 episodes...
Thor Spotted Crushing Reflexes with Mighty Hammer
ASGARD – According to witnesses, Thor, Norse God of Thunder, was recently spotted at a local hospital crushing patellar tendons with his mighty new reflex hammer. Wielding a black, triangular rubber mallet sitting atop...
Reason For ICD-10 Delay: Missing Critical Section on Injuries Due to ICD-10
WASHINGTON, DC - While preparing for the introduction of ICD-10 in the US, physicians dealing with workers’ compensation realized that there was a huge section that was either neglected or purposely left out of the...
Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean
Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum, M.D. shares the...
45-Year-Old EM Physician Reflects Back Upon 4.0 GPA in College While Manually Disimpacting Patient
PENDELTON, IN - Departmental Emergency Medicine Chief Dr. Glenn Henderson was seen staring off into space daydreaming on Monday morning, while digitally disimpacting a 90-year-old nursing home patient, Onis McBurgrontree of Pendleton, IN. With his right index...
Obama Breaks Wrist, Fails To Find Doc Who Accepts His Insurance
WASHINGTON, D.C - Earlier today during a pick-up basketball game with congressional notables, President Obama attempted a slam dunk and landed awkwardly on his outstretched left hand. Sitting stunned and in pain, he cradled...
Texting While Operating Now Illegal in 5 states
SACRAMENTO, CA – On Monday California became the 5th state to ban texting while operating. This new legislation came after Dr. Kenneth Fellet texted his friends, who were partying in Mexico without him, and...
