Man Thoroughly Washing Hands in Bathroom After Urination, Concerning
MEN'S ROOM, 3RD FLOOR – Reports are coming in that a man 5’ 10”, brown hair, small well-kept beard, and in his mid-40s, was seen thoroughly washing his hands after witnesses saw him urinating.
“He zipped up...
Breaking News: Doctor Cycles Blood Pressure Cuff By Himself
JANESVILLE, MI - In an unprecedented occurrence Dr. Fern noticed the absence of a morning blood pressure. Starting to walk out of the room to look for the nurse, he had an epiphany: "If...
Hospital Sweethearts Candy Is The Best Way To Communicate This Valentine’s Day
Want to tell your hospital Valentine how you really feel? There is a heart-shaped chunk of sugar with just the message for you. While the most frequently exchanged heart is "Page Me," you will...
Doctor Vows to Not Sleep Until He Finds Cure for Cancer, Retracts That, Vows...
OMAHA, NE – World famous oncologist Dr. Samuel Potter publicly vowed last week to "not sleep until I find the cure for cancer." This big announcement followed the ceremony where his famous lab was awarded...
TSA Discovers Testicular Cancer on Local Man
NEWARK, NJ – At the Newark Liberty Airport TSA agent Dennis Brown discovered a lump on a local man’s testicle.
“I was just doing my job, nothing special,” said hero TSA agent Brown. “The guy...
Justin Timberlake: I’m Bringing Measles Baaaack
Recently Justin Timberlake announced to the world that he is not planning to vaccinate his child. Evidently all the scientific evidence looks different behind those sexy eyes. Like other celebrity anti-vaxxers, Justin is so adamantly...
Study Finds Majority of Americans Would Rather Die of E. coli Than Not Eat...
DENVER, CO – According to a study released last Saturday by University of Colorado sociologist Dr. Prestin Wheats, the majority of Americans are unfazed by the recent E. coli outbreak at Chipotle stores nationwide,...
Orthopedic Surgeon Creates a Cyborg by Mistake After Replacing Every Joint in the Body
“It wasn’t till my 80-year-old patient told me, 'Hasta la vista, baby,' that I realized that she has been turned into a T-810 by mistake,” told Dr. Bonehead to a GomerBlog representative.
“What was I...
Breaking: Admitting Service Forgets to Ask ED Physician, “What Do You Expect Me to...
JACKSON, MI – In a stunning display of forgetfulness, the admitting hospitalist at Mercy Hospital has forgotten to snarkily reply to an admission request with “What do you expect me to do about it?”
The...
Emergency Medicine Society Recommends a Rectal Exam to Rule-Out Back Pain
CLEVELAND, OH – New 2016 guidelines on diagnosing pain in the emergency department were released last month and already US hospitals are seeing the effects. Most of the updated guidelines revolved around performing the...
