Video Gamer Unlocks Da Vinci on Original Mortal Kombat
Nearly 25 years after its creation, professional video gamer Prasanth Malhotra has unearthed a never-before-seen character in the original Mortal Kombat: the Da Vinci surgical robot. According to Malhotra, to unlock Da Vinci you must slowly...
VIP Treatment Offers Merlot, Pinot Noir as Surgical Prep
MILL VALLEY, CA - As hospitals across the country merge into corporate conglomerates, they lose their identity, much like identical Walmarts taking out Mom and Pop shops, leaving poor residents without the ability to...
Breaking: Nurse Successfully Resuscitates CPR Dummy Back to Human Life
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In some incredible news, critical care nurse Margie Casamento at Tulane Medical Center became the first health care practitioner to successful resuscitate a CPR dummy (or CPR manikin) back to human life....
New Surgical-Themed Starbucks Drinks
The highly successful sales campaign of Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino has got the Starbucks’ marketing team all fired up and ready to target another demographic of artisan beverage drinkers.
“Now that a sizable number of children...
Pregnant Mother Having Second Thoughts About Da Vinci as Her OB/GYN
NEW YORK, NY - “It dawned on me as I had my legs apart and Da Vinci loomed over me with his intimidating red eye and multidirectional arms that I felt really vulnerable.” 33-year-old...
RN, MD Confused After Patient Requests Pain Med That Begins with an E
ATLANTA, GA - An inpatient health care team has been baffled all day by a patient’s persistent requests for pain medication, but it’s not your usual suspect. The patient keeps asking for that pain...
Ortho Stabilizes Stethoscope with External Fixator
LOS ANGELES, CA - Stating overwhelming concern over the flimsy nature of medicine colleague Louis Lefebvre's stethoscope, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has successfully stabilized it for now with an external fixation device or external...
Too Much Pressure: Masseuse Breaks All 206 Bones in Client’s Body
OKLAHOMA CITY, OK - Despite the request to use only light-to-medium pressure during a one hour deep tissue massage, masseuse Lindsey Wang has gone overboard and accidentally broken all 206 bones in her client Gabby...
Neurosurgeons Warn Battle of Wits Carries 20% Risk of Brain Herniation
ROLLING MEADOWS, IL - Engaging in a battle of wits is associated with, among other things, a 20% risk of brain herniation, this according to a new statement released by the American Academy of...
Patient Undergoes Successful Prophylactic Cardiac Resection
NASHVILLE, TN - A patient has undergone successful prophylactic cardiac resection at Nashville Medical Center today in a “very proactive effort" to mitigate any future chance of developing cardiovascular disease, Gomerblog reports.