Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Surgery

Soap Opera Doctor Still Awaiting Credentialing 5 Years and Counting

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HOLLYWOOD, CA – Dr. Mario Love, a well-known Days of Our Lives general surgeon, is still not credentialed at his local hospital after being on the show for 5 years.  Recent evidence suggests that the likely...

Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’

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CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine can sense "how busy or lost" a person looks when...
blood

Patient Bleeds to Death, Blood Bank Paperwork Completed Without Errors

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MADISON, WI - GomerBlog regrettable reports about another surgical patient bleeding to death at Community Hospital yesterday.  84-year-old Terrance Billingsworth tragically passed away in the operating room while undergoing an abdominal aneurysm repair. “Blood started pouring out everywhere,”...

Surgeon Drops Pen, Chart, Falls Off Chair, Then Spends Rest of Appointment Convincing Patient...

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MEMPHIS, TN – Dr. Slater had a series of unfortunate events Thursday.  While he was sitting on a circular roller chair, Dr. Slater started his history questionnaire.  He typically crosses his legs with his...

Anesthesiologist and Surgeon Can’t Agree on Patient’s Care by Midnight Deadline, Hospital Shutdown Ensues

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ROANOKE, VA – Dr. Foster was experiencing some bleeding during his right hemicolectomy.  He asked, “What is the patient’s blood pressure?”  Dr. Heathstrom looked up from his Sudoku puzzle: “112/78” and then returned to his work. “No,...

Local Man Haunted by Crying Colic Baby

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ATLANTA, GA – Local resident Ryan Foster, a 28-year-old bachelor and physical medicine and rehabilitation (PMR) resident, told GomerBlog he was currently haunted by a crying baby.  “It started happening a few months ago.  I...
lawn mower

Local Man Loses Arm in Lawnmower Accident, ‘Why Can’t My Arm Be Made of...

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WITCHITA, KS – Kevin O’Neil had an unfortunate accident yesterday where he lost his right arm.  “I was reaching into the mower to clear some grass that clogged the mower.”  Kevin told reporters before...

Near Death Experience for Medical Student After Taking Chart During Change of Shift

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Richard Henning, a third-year medical student, has no idea how close he came to perishing at Memorial Hospital yesterday.  At approximately 7:04 a.m., Hennings interrupted a nursing change of shift report and took the medical...

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Dreams of Becoming Hollywood Star

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NEW YORK, NY - Prominent cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Dale Enderwood had "an amazing dream" last night and he woke up wishing he could return to that dream. What’s this amazing dream you may ask?  Well, it just may...

Newly Promoted General Surgeon’s Business Cards, A Little Too True

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LOS ANGELES, CA – UCLA’s newly promoted general surgeon, Assistant Professor William Heffner, just received his updated business cards today.  An unfortunate error in spacing caused much controversy.  Due to the lack of room...