Friday, March 29, 2024

Vascular

Vascular surgery satire articles

Conversation Starters While Scrubbing For Surgery with Your Attending

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Scrubbing before surgery can be an awkward time for residents who have to spend up to 5 uninterrupted minutes standing next to an attending while you both wash your hands. Casual conversation can be...

Stryker Surgical Snacks, The Perfect OR Treat

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DALLAS, TX – Stryker Surgical just released a new line bound to please every orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, CRNA, OR nurse, surgical tech, and yes, even make the general surgeons happy too.  They’re called Stryker...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will...

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

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Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum, M.D. shares the...
wheelchair

Surgeon Takes Clinic Patient Home to Avoid 30-Day Readmission

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BOSTON, MA - Dr. Johnny NoSleep, a local vascular surgeon, was sailing his way through his Friday afternoon post-op clinic until he was derailed by his 74-year-old patient, Mr. Unfiltered Camel, who was returning...
intern physician worth it

“Miracle Cure” for Peripheral Vascular Disease Discovered at Major Academic Center by Medical Intern

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The campus is aflutter with excitement as Dr. H. Simpson, preliminary medical intern extraordinaire, has found the cure for the incurable.  No one in the medical community expected such a major breakthrough from one...
wallet aorta

Surgeon a Bit More Cavalier Now That ‘They’ve Cured Hep C’

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MOUNT SINAI, NY - No one was more excited about the release of Harvoni, a potentially curative medication for the hepatitis C virus, than Dr. John Coctosan, a vascular surgeon at Mount Sinai hospital in New...
io access

Intern Places Wrong IO Access, Gets Intraocular Access by Mistake‏

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AUSTIN, TX  - In yet another case of medical “whoops-a-daisy” late last night, intern Alex Franklin mistook his supervising resident’s order to obtain emergency IO access during a cardiopulmonary arrest for intraocular access, and...
collagen

Collagen Etude

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One-third of all the proteins in the body are of collagen. We know that there are many types, and that we don’t know all of ‘em. Composed are types I, II, III, V of many...
mri scanner

New Super Duper Minimally Invasive Transurethral Aortic Valve Replacement Gaining Popularity

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NEW HAVEN, CT - Patients across the country are calling their doctors at all hours asking to be scheduled for the newest minimally invasive surgery, SuDMITAVR, which stands for Super Duper Minimally Invasive Transurethral...