NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ – Reutgers Medical Center recently announced that it may operate this Thanksgiving weekend without any hospital administrators in-house. “We have been practicing trial runs by having an on-call administrator on Saturdays but taking Sundays completely off,” Janet Summers VP of nursing told reporters.
“I don’t think one administrator slept that first night when we let the hospital fly solo by not having [24-hour administrator] coverage. When we arrived to work the next day, at 9 o’clock, not one adverse event had occurred!” she continued. “This 96-hour span will really make us sweat.”
Reutgers is prepared to have nearly every “essential worker” stay home to “increase morale.” They want these “critical employees” spending time with “family and friends.” Those excluded from the free weekend include doctors, nurses, PAs, NPs, RTs, pharmacists, and most other health care professionals.
“How this hospital will function and avoid anarchy is beyond me, but being with family is very important,” said Kevin Salzar, hospital CEO, who reluctantly signed off on the deal. “Let’s see if these doctors and nurses can pull it off. We have left them with pages of documentation and procedural papers for them to read, so they know how to practice medicine. Heck, many in our administration have been doing their job for 20 years. Of course they know how to tell doctors and nurses what to do by paper memo.”
The official memo warns administrators to prepare for a Monday “full of meetings to second-guess everything that happened over the long weekend.”
Nurses on 4 West have talked about having several meetings to discuss what they will talk about at future meetings if things start to get out of hand. “My white coat has at least 50 satisfaction surveys if I get into a bind,” Dr. Hemsworth told reporters.
Other University affiliated hospitals are cautious of such a bold move. “We officially warn Reutgers to exercise great caution with this move. Will the monetary savings actually be worth the lives that will be lost by the lack of satisfaction surveys, committee meetings, and TPS reports that will have to wait until the following week? We think not,” said Donald French, a top administrator for Miami University.
When reached for comment Reutgers responded, “Don’t worry it wasn’t a cost-savings decision. All administrators will still receive their Thanksgiving bonus, we will save money by cutting holiday pay to nurses.”
What is sad is that the last sentence is probably true.
Ours are in a different building!
Sometimes a clipboard nurse will stand there and write down what you did wrong. Like not being able to get to the patient because of all the clipboards….
This is actually funny on a strange kind of level???
It’s July 1st and that’s a myth. Bad data bad conclusion LOL
Many truths are said in jest!
Oh the Humanity!!!
As I was reading this I was thinking, ‘this is not unusual!’ Then I read the last sentence & it made perfect sense!
Safety is important. Almost as important as our satisfaction surveys!
HMM, if I need a hospital care I think I would rather have doctors and nurses taking care of me then administarators anyway…..
Hospital will probably run at peak efficiency.
Lol!!!! That is hilarious!!!
Ummm…this is a satire spoof site……
Although I say it’s dead on accurate except they forget about the mass printed Certificates of Appreciation they will hand out Monday for everyone who worked the holiday.
And some lucky stiffs will get a coupon good for a 5 day old free turkey sandwich from the cafeteria
Unless it was another administrator….or their family….or their dog…….
Really, YOUR NURSES SHOULD GET TOP PAY,!! WITHOUT US , YOU HAVE NO HOSPITAL! !!! RUN IT YOUR DAMN SELVES!!!!
Love the last of how to save $$…..not
Denesh Thangavel
Can’t remember ever working a holiday with an administrator on site. Had supervisor who drew the short straw, but admin was usually on call. If they answered. If they returned the call..
It is gomerblog!
Hilarious!!
You don’t need them.You have great staff you’re ok
Wtf?
This article is from Gomer Blog. It’s satire; it’s meant for humor.
This article is from Gomer Blog. It’s satire; it’s meant for humor.
This article is from Gomer Blog. It’s satire; it’s meant for humor.
This article is from Gomer Blog. It’s satire; it’s meant for humor.
This article is from Gomer Blog. It’s satire; it’s meant for humor.
That’s why they call US PROFESSIONALS…..we know what to do. How to take care of the patients and their families…..
Hospital administrators?!? Who knew they were in the hospital!
Makes me want to gag. Especially the last sentence.
Essential personnel only;)
Are they there during the week? Never noticed!
Hilarious. How will anyone survive?!?
25 yrs never had an administrator beside me at a code
They must remain home for patient safety .
“Reutgers” ? :D
Send them home for good
Those blood suckers !!!!
Yes. They cut the Holiday pay to the people that are the backbone of the hospital. THAT makes sense. Then they can have the administrators clean incontinent patients, run codes, start IVs, fight to keep combative patients from injuring the staff; (& the list goes on).
Cara I hope this was a hoax. Did you read the last quote about a cost saving decision? It stated administrators would still receive their holiday bonus while saving money by cutting nurses’ pay.
Our 65 bedded ICU director had been selling AC(air conditioners) 4 years before he go this job!
Hahahaha!
It’s the Gomer Blog. A satirical news site. It’s not real.
I work in the hospital. The real fact is we really don’t need them. We actually run better when there not there. But to help moral? What kind of BS I’d that to say. Your pushing your Dr, nurses, RT’S and others into the ground. Like working no stop 6-7 days a week 15-20 or more hours a day, while Administration works 9-5 m-f. This is total BS. Maybe if they want to boost moral then the Administration that has medics back rounds should work a holiday or two so WE can have some family time for a change. Just saying.
Haha, the last sentence really gets me!
Admin never works any holiday, why is this news worthy?!
Our hospital always has on call for weekends and holidays. No extra issues noted when they are not around.
Will be best weekend of the year. Thank God the morale of the administrator a will be good
Lmao
No TPS reports? Well played…
I really like the last sentence!
How will the hospitals run without meetings?!?
Just goes to show there is too much adm. Maybe if they cut them the hospitals would save money!
July 1st. Our administration never works weekends.
I worked in an ICU that didn’t have a manager for almost a year, no one noticed except when reviews were due because it ran so smoothly
Safer than June 1st!
no more hospital admin heroics during those Code Blues… better brush up on the old ACLS
Michelle Howard Ehlert