ST. LOUIS, MO – Sad news today as a local internal medicine physician was trampled to death by a herd of wild zebras while walking to the hospital. Witnesses say the deceased, identified as internist Dr. Thomas Wright, clearly heard the sound of the approaching zebras, but didn’t react appropriately.
“Everyone else heard the hoofbeats, and we all moved out of the way,” said one witness. “But he just kept walking, assuring us that horses are friendly and wouldn’t harm us. He never even stopped to turn around.”
Sources say the herd of zebras escaped from the zoo earlier in the day, and ran wild through the city for several hours before being captured by animal control. Despite minor property damage, no other injuries were reported.
Authorities have issued warnings about the dangers of zebra attacks, including a list of warning signs for wild zebra herds. “Hoofbeats are nonspecific sounds, and the cause of the hoofbeats should be evaluated,” said Chief of Police Mike Summerland. “In the context of hoofed mammals, black and white stripes are almost pathognomonic for zebras. And while zebras are rare, attacks are still possible anytime, anywhere. Raising awareness of zebra attacks is the first step toward preventing them.”
E906.8, butted by or fallen on by animal ;)
E906.8, butted by or fallen on by animal ;)
Laurie Levy you need to be on this page
Laurie Levy you need to be on this page
Karma?
Karma?
I’d suggest a bury-em enema
I’d suggest a bury-em enema
There is justice in the world.
There is justice in the world.
But his first thought was that they were horses …
But his first thought was that they were horses …
Too funny!
Too funny!
So funny
Tee Hee
slow news day? :)
In the final irony, cause of death was listed as underneath horse stampede.
Ahhhahaha
Hahaha
Luv it
Haha
In other news, the pediatrics department captured a few and opened a petting zoo.
Do the have a vaccine for that?
Poetic justice for an internist always looking for a zebra in a herd of horses.
HahahahagsgGG
The hospital, where the internist practice, has now produced a new protocol, check sheet and verified numeric tool to quantify a patient’s risk of Zebra trampling. This is all in response to JCHO and the state’s DPH labeling Zebra Trampling as a “never” event. Nursing has been chosen to assess the patient q shift for ZTR (Zebra Trample Risk) and post a photograph of a pride of lions outside the patient’s door if the number>10 on a 0 to 21 scale. “Of course this will take a few minutes of the nurse’s time,” said the administrator, “but they can easily incorporate it into the hourly rounding we have instituted to improve patient satisfaction scores.”
So me!
the unfortunate man was “dazzled” to death?
The zebras had recently been quarantined for Ebola, and subsequently released. Unfortunately they all died of influenza the next day.
Bahahaha
Heather Jones Saha
Next time, order a picture analysis of the animal rather than a fecal study, and include more history than “Animal with feet.”
As an internist, I know there are no “herds” of zebras, a group of zebras is called a dazzle. It is all in the details!
Laughed.Out.Loud
A little bit ironic, I really do think!
OMG, I love it. So true, here’s to you Michael Willing
I guess he couldn’t flea away in time.
thank you both. this was the best thing I’ve read all day.
OMG I’ve got to stop reading this stuff when I’m in the middle of a lecture!! Laughing out loud is frowned upon!!!
He didn’t look both ways before crossing th……..
Leo Reap haha
Hahahaha
I laughed just by reading the headline hahah
More important question is was the ICD 9 code entered correctly in EMR-death by trampling by wild zebra. Who knows this code off the top of their heads??
In an unfortunate related story a rheumatologist was impaled by a unicorn
Every sub specialist was contacted in order to evaluate the zebras and to exclude the other species right after the internet read the radiology report.
Please correlate zoologically.
Cameron White
The radiologist agreed that the appearance of the herd was consistent with zebras, but could not definitively exclude elk, antelope, or large wild cats.
It’s never horses…
Just another day at the office at Jackson Medical Center!
When u hear hoof beats, dun think of zebras
Mammoths would be on the neurologist’s or radiologist’s differential. The radiologist would duck under the cover of the hedge to stay safe and invisible