Top April Fools’ jokes to play at the hospital. It isn’t too late to try and pull off that sweet joke at work.
- Anesthesia – After giving your coworker a morning break during a prone IV sedation case, have an empty syringe of rocuronium in your hand when they return and say, “I just gave this since the patient was moving. Seeya.”
- Nursing – At change of shift tell the oncoming nurse, “I removed the Foley catheter shortly after giving 100 mg of IV Lasix.” Or night shift, calculate flow rates on pumps to have all IV bags and medications on the floor patients all run out and beep at 7:01 am. Also use the term “I think the patient’s rectal tube fell out sometime last night” at change of shift.
- Gastroenterology – After a colonoscopy, leave a fake plastic snake under the sheets for the PACU nurse to find.
- Emergency Medicine – Print out an EKG with ST segment changes and tell a medical student to take it to another staff physician and say, “Oops, I forgot to show you the EKG of the patient we just discharged.”
- Surgery – Start dropping multiple retractors on the floor and see how annoyed the OR nurse can get.
- Dermatology – Inform your staff that they will be working late to 4:00 p.m. today with only a one hour lunch.
- Ophthalmology – Tell your patients that you have an intense fear of eyeballs after you introduce yourself, and that you need to be excused for a minute to breathe in a bag.
- Pediatrics – After taking a newborn baby for a checkup, bring back the wrong baby to the mom, just to see the look on her face or if they even pick up on it.
- OB/GYN – Put a water cup on top of the staff obstetrician break room door. Record simulated FHT sounds in the 50s and then play it really loud.
- Hospitalist – Call orthopedics and tell them there is a non-operative patient in the ER that you want them to admit to their service, with the hospitalist service consulting.
- Orthopedics – Ask for asystole during your case to minimize blood loss and to assist the incompetent anesthesia provider in preventing the patient from moving.
- Radiology – End a dictation, “With 100% and absolute certainty and no need for clinical correlation, this film demonstrates clear… click.”
- Pathology – Call up to the OR and ask for another specimen with less tissue.
- Medical students – Who are we kidding? We just treat every day like April Fools’ Day for you. Don’t worry about playing a joke since you inadvertently provide plenty already!
- Residents – Actually setup a mandatory naptime area for yourselves, ask for milk.
- Respiratory therapists – Call the intern covering the ICU at 3 a.m. and ask if they wanted the ARDS patient with a P/F ratio of 60 and a difficult airway to be reintubated after the tube “fell out” or should we just let it ride.
- Urology – After performing a physical exam down below on a patient, wash your hands for an exceedingly long period of time to really start making the patient feel self-conscious.
- Cardiology – Recommend more fluid for the patient.
- ENT – Go to your postop otoplasty patient and pretend that you are talking but make no sound. Always a great laugh for the patient!
- Neurology – Don’t identify the lesion, but offer a treatment plan.
- Pediatrics – After giving vaccines to a kid, just start laughing and say “Cha-Ching! Another check from big pharma coming for me!”
- Psychiatry – Paint 2 eyes under your eyes to look like double vision. See all your patients in clinic that way and convince them that they are just seeing things.
- Family Medicine – Prescribe Vagisil for all of your male patients in addition to whatever other medication they really need. Send a medical student to record the interaction at the pharmacy.
