It’s not uncommon to start a history of present illness (HPI), assessment, or discharge summary with the following phrase: This is a very pleasant… and then go on to say 30-year-old male, 54-year-old female, etc. In fact, we use the phrase so much that we’ve diluted it’s meaning. Next time, consider using one of the following alternate phrases to more accurately describe your patient:
This is not a very pleasant…
This is a really terrible…
This sinfully awful…
This uncannily noncompliant…
This suspiciously cooperative…
This is a rare, totally normal…
This sweet little but extremely vulgar…
This ridiculously ticklish…
This heroic, dare I say legendary…
This wonderfully symmetric…
This is an awe-inspiring…
This absolutely hilarious…
This is an infinitely constipated…
This is a lying, malingering…
This is a batsh*t crazy…
This is a m**therf**king…
This kinda sketch…
This incredibly inappropriate…
This is a really boring…
This is an impressively unimpressive…
This multi-drug resistant…
This left-footed…
This is a morose, Eeyore-like…
This is the world’s most entitled…
This is a hysterically flatulent…
This is a mentally prolapsed…
This is an annoyingly talkative…
This neverending bounce-back is a…
This is an obnoxiously loud…
This is a fantastically gullible…
This is a very touchy-feely…
This is an omnipotent…
This is an impotent…
This is a Klingon-speaking…
This is a sexy but mysterious…
This is an evil…
This platinum-status frequent-flyer is a…
This is a show-stopping…
This is a clutch…
This is a spandex-wearing…
This is a water-repellent…
This is a sturdy but flexible…
Once upon a time, there was a…
Our story’s protagonist is a…
This heartwarming tale starts with our…
My arch nemesis is a…
So why should you care about a…
I hope you never have to meet this…
Sigh, sit down and let me tell you about this…
Platinum status frequent flyer….aaaaahahahaha!!!
Rachael McGinley Bracke. This is a batshit crazy … Equals your life.
Alex Krob
Mandi Meyen
“She is a hooker.” No joke. Or another was “..this lady was seen by myself in the office whilst under the influence of that which she shalt not imbibe…” …whatever THAT was.
Haven Ritchie
“This 34 year old gentleman, not given to very penetrating thought….” I read this as a student nurse 30 something years ago in a patient’s admission note by a neurosurg resident. The patient was a nice guy. The resident, on the other hand…..
Ovella Clement
Hehehehe…”never ending bounceback.” Love it!
I’ve always hated this opening phrase-its really just code for “I like this person/ they have decent insurance/ they didn’t give me any trouble” It doesn’t have any clinical relevance and I find it so useless I can’t even enjoy the jokes!
Alright… Alright! ;)
Honest truth! And it was in high school after a wrestling injury :-)
Seriously Frank?!
Chris
I see “This dear sweet lovely soul….”
“Hysterically flatulent and obviously deaf”….
“This kind of sketch…” Is my new fav!!!
My favourite ” batshit crazy”.
My favorite: “This platinum-status frequent-flyer is a…”
I never write any of these but read them all the time. Any of these would be awesome.
Gerald Mank
Love this
Roberta Mighton
Gretchen Thurmond Ross
I can always tell when the doctor really doesn’t mean it when he says pleasant. He will sigh right after and I know it will be a interesting report.
Eunice Lee Helen Hwang
hahaha!!! Platinum status frequent flyer!
Ha! It would make reading consulting notes so much more entertaining :-)
Not many alternatives out there, since “this batsh*t crazy patient”, “this stubborn, noncompliant, PIA”, and the like are frowned upon for use regarding those occasional less-than-pleasant patients
Ha! This hits close to home. In my assessment I always write “this is a pleasant” or “this is a very pleasant” x year old blah blah blah.
For the first time EVER I wrote about a patient stating “this is a 45 year old….”
I just couldn’t lie about that patient.
“Platinum status frequent flyer” – heehee!
Keeping it real….lol
Scott Osborne so you
” This bearded lady…”, ” This DD breasted man””
I’m trying to decide which one would be used to describe me….
Greatness
Brianna Vivian
I saw my MD write “well muscled” about me ! :)
Lol- what about ‘well developed well nourished’ – is it more PC to say extremely well developed and nourished rather than obese?
“54yo female well known to me and everyone else in this facility presents once again because her insurance allows it. And she’s bored”
Bahahhahahahahahah!
i want to know what they write about me!
Rajeev Narayan just keep reading, you’ll know one reference that reminds me of you!
Colin Coor
If only!
I’ve actually seen, “This is a rather unfortunate….”
Ben Lewis
Megan DeLoera, Denise Leistico Casper I think y’all should expand your vocabulary
QUERY SEPSIS IN A PLEASANT 60 Y.O. MALE Lior Bibas Dan BG Tran
” This is a very rude….” Ha, ha
Wayne R. LeClair
Tracey Fedor
Jess Too funny!
Edi Berbic lol I dare you do this. Jk