CARY, NC – In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside Raleigh now require nursing staff to provide a “happy ending” after they bathe every inpatient.
This move comes after the Raleigh News and Observer ranked OLCNDH dead last among area hospitals in patient satisfaction. A new patient satisfaction initiative was needed.
Jamie Tomlinson, RN, BSN, MSN, JD, MPH, who serves as Assistant Vice-President to The Grand Emperor of Patient Safety and Satisfaction at OLCNDH, was reached by GomerBlog for comment: “This hospital has heard the wake-up call, loud and clear.”
“In addition to beginning a long overdue valet-parking service, we contracted Wolfgang Puck to custom design our turkey sandwiches. Any hospital could have made those moves, so we knew we needed something extra. The “Happy-Ending Bed Bath” goes well beyond any previous level of hospital customer service. Patients are looking forward to their baths like never before.“
Tomlinson went on to explain that males over 60 were premedicated with Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis, regardless of whether they were taking nitrates for chest pain or unstable angina. Female patients are offered a glass of red or white wine prior to their bath. The wines are billed as French Bordeaux and Napa Chardonnay, but are rumored to taste eerily similar to Sutter Home.
Stephen Lazar
No.
Gonna barf.
Yep. I just aspirated.
Lol..seriously is that where all this is headed?..bed, bath and beyond?!
It was beautifully done. I’m not looking forward to this entering my scope of practice
I saw this cumming.
Some of my patients would disagree with you Sir! Lol
I bet this job gets dumped onto the CNAs. He he he
http://www.secreta.se/ already a thing. Watch the video on the site
Ashley Martella
“Unit clerk! Please call the sex therapist for a treatment. The patient in room 6 has an order for H.E. bath prn for feelings of dissatisfaction.”
lol Linda Kellie Stephanie Dulay Debbie Anderson Walker Schlundt
Oh! SO not in my scope of practice!
Kris Rondeau. Lol!!!
Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital, nice. Sounds like a place where it would proper to use your rig ( syringe) with your pinky up.
Seems the way of it
Travis Klein
I knew that wasn’t for real but the idea is just ridiculous ha
I knew that wasn’t for real but the idea is just ridiculous ha
Bed bath and beyond.
though an unintended consequence of this is that patient’s will be given #HappyEnding satisfaction scores #ItNeverEnds
WTF! So glad I work in surgery
And a mint on the pillow
Jessica Hyatt Nancy Herrera Alxia Dominguez Kristy Arriola Ross M Cowan Abby Jones Matthew Pagliaro Sandi Maldonado Cassi Mogford Morgan Muhl Starr Sarah Volgamore Laprise
Anne Doyle there is a hospital in Florida that gives out fresh made cookies
That’s sick … Maybe just bathing everyone first would be a nice start we barely do that
lol, they better open the 4th floor again….we’re gonna be busy!
Lol!!!!
The catheters my pose a problem…
Eric Conklin
Dawn Dumar Engelbart, Elizabeth Olley, Amy Deschler, Cindy Honore….. Things could be soooooo much worse!! ;)
Who thought of this idea should be rolling up their selves and giving baths 7 days a week 12 hour shifts. How ridiculous. Patient satisfaction scores , really!!!!
Will this be handled by acute pain service or palliative care?
I want to be a pt there!
We love you long time….
Lol Jennifer