MOBILE, AL – Fighting back tears at a press conference last Saturday, Lisa Marie Bamberger told reporters she was “stunned with disbelief” in regards to a recent emergency room visit in which she was informed she was pregnant.
But, according to Bamberger, that wasn’t the biggest bombshell she received that day.
Lisa said she originally went to the emergency room because of vomiting and stomach pain one morning, when she was given her lab results.
“When the doctor told me I was pregnant, I said there’s just no way, I have that NuvaRing, I told her. Then I showed her my finger and she kind of stared at me for a second before she and the nurse started laughing really hard,” explained the 20-year-old expecting mother and recent college dropout.
Bamberger, whose public high-school sex education consisted solely of an abstinence-only curriculum, as mandated by the state, said she had no idea that the NuvaRing was not meant to be worn on her finger.
“I got the Nuva-thing because my regular doctor said it would be free and I wouldn’t need to take pills anymore so I picked it up and it said ring on the box so I put it on my finger like a ring,” said Lisa in regards to the combined estrogen-progestin contraceptive vaginal ring used by nearly 2 million women worldwide.
At press time, Bamberger was seen leaving the hospital premises in a loud pickup truck with multiple spare tires, releasing thick black smoke from the exhaust pipe as she drove away.
You can’t fix stupid.
I had one patient that only took her oral contraceptives after she had sex. She couldn’t understand why she was pregnant.
Sadly, Georgia is mostly abstinence based.
Sébastien Brodeur
lolol!
Or just learn how the reproductive system and procreation work! Then you know how to stop the process!
That’s a lot of sex
We are talking about a generation with 24 hr. access to information on how to prevent pregnancy, unfortunately they lack a fully-formed prefrontal cortex.
But their $400 phones wear protecting… Genitalia, not so much.
Hahahahahaha *sigh*
This is all overshadowed by how terrible specifically the NUVA ring is in higher than normal PE cases. Terrible product
LOL Emily Cassandra Amanda Italiani…..thinking about my bracelet story!!!!
Meghan Marshall
Unfortunately satire can imitate real life!
and if you run out of contraceptive jelly for your diaphragm don’t substitute apple…..
Had a pt who couldn’t believe she got pregnant because “I had the Guardasil shot six months ago”. Guardasil prevents HPV, not pregnancy.
I know that. Thanks.
Gomerblog is satire.
And this is why you must read ALL the instructions that come with contraception
HAHAHA!!
People…even educated people…can be dumb. Many years ago, the wife of a neurosurgeon I worked with came in for a liposuction. We asked her if she had anything by mouth since midnight…she, of course replied “No”. 30 minutes after she got to PACU, she vomited up the chicken sandwich she ate at 3AM…
Unfortunately it seems “Analgesics” have nothing to do with butts. Odd,
Syphilis is Chlamydia’s sister.
I hope she places the child up for adoption.
Lmao people this stupid should not be allowed to procreate. Omg!
L M A O
No lie one lady wanted to call her kid meconium
That woman must have had some huge fingers, or put it on her big toe. But this IS Gomerblog, and the story is satire. However, we were treated to stories in pharmacy school about people who took meds incorrectly, and one of them was about a woman on the Pill who got pregnant because she was sticking them up herself.
Isnt any better then the people that name thier daughter “Shithead” … Shi-thead
Yes. they walk among us.
I bet Saphilis’s mom was wearing a NuvaRing
Marissa Cavallaro
And this is why I ask my doctor those silly questions!
In my career, I cared for a child named Placenta, and a child named Shi – thead. Some folks need to have their reproductive license revoked.
Toids
It’s funny because if you don’t specifically explain shit like this to patients this story ceases to be satirical.
Sounds like the old urban legend about the lady suing the maker of spermicidal jelly. She put it on her toast every morning and STILL got pregnant.
Christophe Tra
Let’s just sterilize these people. Obviously not contributing to the gene pool.
http://youtu.be/CWGi1k1BHV0
Had a patient name her Saphilis. She saw syphalis on her chart and thought it was pretty.
Unfortunately I believe there are people like this.
Kristen bahaha
Fanny Alie-Cusson hahahhahahah
Why is there still abstinence only sex education in the states when we send ppl to third world countries and teach actual sex ed? I mean really. People need to be informed.
Will she give birth to Wonder Twins?
I was told by one of the Pharmacist I worked with that he once had a lady try to renew her birth control a couple a weeks too early. She told him she was out even though she still should of had over a week or two left. She explained she took it every time she had sex.
Had a patient one day whose daughter was named “Mirena”. I thought, “You don’t know what that is, do you?”
Lilliane Nguyen lmaoo
Oh man…. I want to think this is a joke…..
But my eyes have seen too much and my ears have heard too much-
#Godplsprotectthisbaby
#cantfixstupid
Real life: Had a patient place their oral contraception somewhere other than their mouth
Mabel Trigoura lol
Ught ught oh… Somebody liked it and put a ring on it.
Have you tried the Nuva onion rings? Kinda chewy and I cry about everything when I eat them