Seduce any doctor by using valuable information about his or her specialty to ensure total success in the bedroom.
Emergency Medicine
Go skydiving to get the adrenaline going. Speed home. Once there, run upstairs and cut off each other’s clothes with trauma shears. Now naked, tell him EXACTLY what brought you into the bedroom. (Hint: His bulging biceps… not something that you love about him from ages ago.) Have great sex. Repeat.
General Surgery
Turn the air conditioner to 50 degrees. Turn on her favorite music. Play strip Jenga. Everytime she moves a block successfully, you take off an item of clothes and vice versa. (Hint: Do not count on her being unsuccessful. She has a Very. Steady. Hand.) Get naked. Have great sex. Recover.
Dermatology
Three words: Erotic sunscreen massage. Nothing gets a derm hotter than the correct application of sunscreen. Then how about a couple’s sexy mole check? Have great sex and follow-up weekly.
Radiology
Turn out the lights. Turn on the soft, sexy blue glow of an iPad. Ask about his stocks, investments, and Clash of Clans level. Have great sex. Report back.
Internal Medicine
Create a sexy mystery hunt in your house. At every clue, make your internal medicine physician answer no less than 14 questions about you. She will answer each question calmly and completely; incredibly attractive! When she finally makes it to the bedroom, be waiting there naked as her reward. Have great sex. Feel accomplished.
OB/GYN
This one is pretty simple. Just be ANYTHING but hormonal, pregnant, or menopausal and you will have great sex. Period.
Anesthesiology
Try giving these mathletes a chance to strut their stuff by asking them to add, subtract, or multiply large numbers throughout the day. Oooh and aaah over their quick answers. Later on, you can stroke their ego even more by telling them they can examine any part of your body below the neck. (Hint: This is uncharted territory for our anesthesiologist friends, so don’t be surprised if they have questions.) Have great sex. Sleep soundly.
Orthopedic Surgery
Wear his lettered high-school football jacket with nothing underneath and challenge him to a push-up contest. (For added arousal, agree to watch his favorite Superbowl re-run from 1997.) Do some physical therapy stretching exercises, per his suggestion, have great sex, and then call and thank him because you are now running sub 6-minute mile due to his perfect sex prowess.
***UPDATES FROM GB, FANS, and FRIENDS***
ENT – Pull out your microscopes on this one, ENT surgeons love closeups..of anything!. They also love to scoop out tonsils during passionate kissing, so grab some ice cream and go to town! They love to fork. Take that tuning fork and weber the Sh** out of them.
FAMILY MEDICINE – Roller skates. Family Medicine physicians move fast, they have to, so you have to keep up with them. Bring them a list of all of your hobbies, interests, previous girlfriends/boyfriends, food preferences, and pacer card and they will love you for it.
PATHOLOGY – Nothing gets steamier than discussing the quality of embalming fluid and where to put it. Turn the temperature down as Pathologists love to do it in cold dark places, preferably in basements, on metal.
PEDIATRICS – It is all about how long you can last in Timeout..the longer the better. Make sure your immunizations are uptodate as that would be the ultimate buzz kill if they aren’t. Set the mood with bilirubin lights.
PSYCHIATRY – Don’t say a word, except for maybe DSM. Psychiatrists are so tired of hearing people everyday at work. Just start kissing them, whisper DSM in their ear, and hold on for the ride.
CARDIOLOGY – Lather up the ultrasound machine and drive it all over their chest with lots of ultrasound goo, yelling out “look at that regurg” or “damn I want to cath that”.
GASTROENTEROLOGY – We got nothing on these guys. Good luck!
HOSPITALIST – Punch them all over their body. They love to feel pain, repetitively, just as they feel when getting 6 ER hits at the same time and dumped on by everyone. Don’t be surprised if they leave quickly in the morning as they are very keen on discharging.
OPHTHALMOLOGIST – Blow in their eye. Play naked laser tag while wearing glasses. After sex ask them who was better, 1(you) or 2(last person).
NEPHROLOGIST – Don’t box them in. Water them profusely. Don’t give them too many bananas to eat as they hate high potassium.
NEUROLOGIST – They are fantastic at finding the right place to touch, but they just don’t know what to do when they find it. Help then. Move their hands and show them what to do.
VASCULAR SURGEON – Always recommend taking the bypass to get to your place. Play loud static in the background with “swooshing” sounds.
UROLOGIST – Have a good scaping. Tell a joke related to a penis. Have sex.
Much appreciation to the author of this post! She is a sexual health educator and consultant. Check out her website below!
Check out the obgyn one
Joseph Gudex
LCD is ‘Have great sex’ ;
You never disappoint!! http://t.co/dbiZwG51Yo
Jessica LeeCurls
Bridget
Anesthesiology
Try giving these mathletes a chance to strut their stuff by asking them to add, subtract, or multiply large numbers throughout the day. Oooh and aaah over their quick answers. Later on, you can stroke their ego even more by telling them they can examine any part of your body below the neck. (Hint: This is uncharted territory for our anesthesiologist friends, so don’t be surprised if they have questions.) Have great sex. Sleep soundly.
Paweł Sowula
Lesley Jones hmmmm you go girl
Lyn Chesca Lol
Ashleigh McIntyre
Feeling extremely left out.
Seriously? Im sure part 2 Of this will be ” how to Not get struck off by the GMC “
Feel free to message me your response, if you’d like to answer my question that is. Have a good day, sir.
I see you graduated from USUHS. Were you accepted without a military background or did you serve prior to applying?
Lesley Jones
Ridiculousness!!!!
Great one. Especially anesthesiology.
Ew
Nice one Dan that’s my daughter your talking about just joking.!!!!!
lol
No Neuro? But we have leather restraints!
This is awesome. Or I’ve been working too long…
As if any nurse would want to
They sure use condoms.
No. Let her sleep!
Omg Heather Sinclair, is this why people go i to the medical profession?
Dannett why is there no Podiatrist here? lollllll
They like it from behind!
Oh my God! The surgery one made me vomit for obvious reasons. But the anesthesia was pretty funny. For obvious reasons.
David Hateley well this is not much use, where is the G.P guide??
Really, no urology? That’s just sad. So much good material. Left us out of game of thrones too…
I think it should say the math thing and then “while asking the math questions be sure to lift your chin (helps to have a beautifully sculpted mandible) and squeeze a fist to show off your plump, juicy hand veins. Then when planning you post-date romp, ask your anesthesiologist mate what he/she would like to do. Then ask him/her what options b, c, and d are in case option a doesn’t work out.” You’re welcome.
Guess they’ve never heard of regional anesthesia. Or art lines. Or femoral lines.
Maybe if the partner needs Pepcid and nitro for you he needs the air cool lolol
You had me at “thermostat on 50”.
That’s something that the Pediatric Surgeon Bina would have to fix! Noooooo 10 degrees!!! At least 30! HAHAHHAHAHAHA
Thanks Siri for the F to C conversion
Thanks Siri for the F to C conversion
Strip Jenga. Okay, let’s start training! HAHAHAHAHHA
PLEASE, no school uniforms! HAHAHAHHAHAHA
IDK how does it work in there, but in here all Ped surgeon is also a General surgeon. I’ll keep that one! Lol!
Lol
Or the elusive peds surgery!
Bahahahahahhahaha!!! No Pediatrics, of course. LMAO!
Good looking out girl!
Asthma, allergies and immunology?
Love it! Hilarious!
Nicole Bennett
This is so great! Hahaha
What if she’s a Urologist??
Bill Geis
So spot on!!!
hahahahaha im dying! this is amazing
Amy Joyce Misch Kim France Graf.
Asså nej, haha!
Angelica Kron
Rachel Holmes! Ha!
Start making some notes!!
We peds docs apparently see too many results of sex to have sex.
So the prostate exam isn’t the appropriate time for a dinner invite? Guess that explains it….
Hahaha Debbie McMillen Cyndi Lemery Lindsay Hall
“Erotic Sunscreen Massage.” Haha
“Erotic Sunscreen Massage.” Haha
Lol
Lol
I was thinking the same thing!
Paul Atkins “Create a sexy mystery hunt in your house. At every clue, make your internal medicine physician answer no less than 14 questions about you.”
Have an adult conversation with a pediatrician. She’ll love you forever.
lol
Forensic Pathologist?
Why Dr Doss u dirty dog lmao
I skydive and I’m an ER doc. I’m pretty sure that’s the most accurate Gomerblog I have ever read.
True story: on the second date, my boyfriend, who is not at all in the medical field, asked me “can you explain to me the difference between anatomic and physiologic dead space?” I work in the NICU. So, yeah.
Very funny! The fill ins were great also!! Funny
Sunny Tathgar
Carmel Walsh-Stansfield Kellie Wight you will love this.
I think it’s for spouses as well!
Hahaha so good!
Mudfight?
Pretty funny.
Georgia Moffat Renee Milliken
Sarah Dimsha Boswell
LMAO!
Baahaahaaa! Also strangely accurate.
Mike, I need you to check my prostate
Radiology is on point, always talking about their stocks Hahahaha
Radiology is on point, always talking about their stocks Hahahaha
If only there was a vulture emoji
Tips 4 U Nick Watson
Christ.
Matt Loewen
Georgia Kate Camille Vickneswaran Alannah Jackson
Cavieties….
Cavieties….
Ummmm
Hahahaha
Hahahaha
Cate Rose Jean Amanda Tess
Might be lucky
The best of gomer blog..you guys are ridiculously funny…!
They’re all about culture and sensitivity.
Lol
Ashley Martella
Flight medicine: seduce with 1.510 hours of F-16 BFM, followed by a high-speed low level pass over a beautiful beach, saying, “that’s epic!” If not still throwing up from the BFM, she’ll thank you for great sex, and an epic flight!
Ummm bring it
Psychiatry? neurology?
A hoot!
Lol
That was great.
Lol
Yeah and what about infectious diseases?
Brea Clarke
You are safe Lori Gray, no hospitalist category!
Lesley Trabeaux Wininger, I’m dying, seriously….
Turn on all the lights, wear a sexy hospital gown with non slip footwear. Now set the mood-turn on a sound machine with rhythmic beeps and BOOPS! Go forth and have fun, in a twin sized bed. Just make sure to have PT evaluate before you get OOB
:)
Pulmonology icu?
Hahaha definitely! I’ll do some research :P
Gastroenterology??
Anthea is this something we need to practice? ?
Lol. I was going to say “fill out some paperwork for her and let her take a nap”.
Because that would work.
Thankfully, nothing listed for pediatricians.
Funny!
Gloria E Long
Chad Siewers why isn’t this in first aid
0438. Three hrs to go. Thank you, Molly J Richardson. Xo
Hilarious
Lol
Family medicine? Oh wait, we’re completely abstinent due to all we’ve seen.
Ew.
Clash of Clans level made me spew my coffee!
Molly Teich
Sarath Naidu Bodapati derm