With burnout at a record high and no signs of improvement in sight, there will be an increasing need for letters of resignation. But how does one go about writing a letter of resignation? No worries, GomerBlog is here to help!
The Document
Steer clear of computer programs like Microsoft Word or Apple’s Pages. They’re too formal. Don’t even use pen or blank white paper. Find a crayon. Find some progress note paper or even a napkin. Now we’re talking!
The Salutation
Though you could keep this cordial, why not spice it up? You are quitting after all. You’re unhappy so go ahead and show it! Try “Dear Emperor Overload” or “Dear Heartless Supervisor of This Giant Machine of Exchangeable Cogs Known as Health Care Practitioners.” Let your frustrations and creativity completely shine!
The First Line
State that you are in fact resigning and the effective date of resignation. Make known that you would leave sooner if it were at all possible. “I, ___________, am leaving this hell hole effective December 1, 2015. I would actually like to leave like right this second, but apparently I can’t do that. I want to, but I can’t. This will have to do. FML.” You can choose to sugarcoat it if you wish: “Think of it as a vacation where I never ever return…”
Reasons for Unhappiness
Some people will tell you that you don’t have to list a reason for leaving. Hogwash! Go air some baggage. It’s not “a” reason but many reasons. List no fewer than ten reasons why you’re completely unhappy, but aim for twenty ideally: burnout, paperwork, complicated patients, leadership dysfunction, poor pay, and not enough free pens are some common ones.
Never Say Thank You
I mean, you could say something like “Thank you for the opportunity for letting me work here and giving me the opportunity to…” but that’s so boring! Stir it up! Try something like this: “The last few years have been an utter waste. Thanks to you, I’m jaded, depressed, and lost my passion for this. I’ve been treated like sh*t and in turn I treat my patients like sh*t. That’s messed up and that’s why I’m leaving. I can’t believe I didn’t resign sooner, this feels so good!” :) (Note: it is always a good idea to use emoticons and emojis in resignation letters.)
Throw Colleagues Under the Bus
At this point in your resignation letter, it will be clear that you have no intentions on helping out the group. Perfect! Proceed to burn all relevant bridges by pointing out co-workers who also dislike their jobs and boss. Point out all the people you hate at work and why (don’t forget to tell it to their faces too). Resigning is all about creating a clean break so that no traces of your awful past interfere with your more glorious future. You’ve pulled off that Band-Aid, now go pour some salt into that wound!
Curse Everyone
Don’t end your letter by wish everyone well. Curse them! Tell them to go to hell! Shortly before Mercutio dies in Romeo & Juliet, he declares “a plague a’ both your houses!” That’s the way to do it. This place brought you down, might as well return the favor.
Deliver the Letter
Resist the temptation to have a face-to-face meeting. Don’t make a phone call. Rely on the letter. But resist the urge to fold the letter neatly. Resist the urge to put it into an envelope. Simply fold it into a paper plane and fly it towards your boss. Watching that letter fly will remind you of your own freedom. It’s a beautiful thing.
