Ask a 4th-Year Med Student (Who’s Checked Out for the Year)

fever defervesce
"Why is no one 98-point-f**king-six degrees in this place?"

Our readers get to pose tough questions to our columnist-cum-med student who is only a few months away from graduating.

Dear 4th-Year Med Student Who’s Checked Out for the Year,

Every time my friends and I go out to eat we end up just dividing the bill 4 ways.  The problem is, I always get the cheapest item of the group.  Is it fair to just divide it up, or should I insist that we pay for our individual items?

Sincerely,
Confused and Troubled in Baltimore

Dear CATIB,

Man, I’m real excited for this hematopathology rotation. Yeah sure I know that it may not apply to my orthopedic surgery residency, but you never know.  I could end up going into oncologic surgery or something.  Anyway, what time should I show up in the morning?  9 a.m.?  Perfect!  Oh I can’t make tumor board this Friday afternoon, I um… I have a meeting.

Dear 4th-Year Med Student Who’s Checked Out for the Year,

My father passed away recently and not surprisingly, my mother is having a tough time of it.  While at first I was not surprised I was talking to her almost every night, I’m surprised that 4 months later this is still the case.  Am I selfish for wanting things to get back to normal?  Or is it too soon for me to expect this from my mother?

Sincerely,
Bad Daughter in Birmingham

Dear BDIB,

So just to be clear, you want us to carry 4 patients each?  Well, my last rotation on hospital medicine I was expected to carry 3.  Um ok sure 4.  Hey I know sign-out is at 6:30 a.m. but since rounds start at 9, is it ok if I just come in at 7:30 and get sign-out from the resident?  I’ll be ready on rounds don’t worry.

Dear 4th-Year Med Student Who’s Checked Out for the Year,

I’ve been out on 3 dates with this great guy I met in my apartment complex.  He’s smart, cute, and clearly into me.  Yet for some reason he hasn’t kissed me yet.  I’ve given him all my normal signals but I think he’s just too shy to close.  The tension is too much!  How do I get him to make a move?

Sincerely,
Frustrated in Orlando and Need Help!

Dear FONH,

Hey so I wrote my note on my 3 patients.  I’m not sure how weekend rounds work, how long are med students expected to stay?  Oh… there’s a patient in the ER about to be admitted?

GomerBlog is sorry this 4th-year med student has gone missing.  I mean, he was standing right here.  We looked down at the paper and when we looked up he was gone.  Uh, I guess the 3rd year can go admit this guy.

Need some more advice?
Ask a Hospitalist
Ask a July 1st Medicine Intern
Ask a Surgical Intern, Part 1
Ask a Surgical Intern, Part 2

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