OMAHA, NE – World famous oncologist Dr. Samuel Potter publicly vowed last week to “not sleep until I find the cure for cancer.” This big announcement followed the ceremony where his famous lab was awarded one of the largest NIH grants in history. “Little did I know that staying awake for hours upon hours is one, if not the most, difficult thing a human can do,” Dr. Potter told reporters during a press conference where he was changing his tune.
Dr. Potter went 3 days and by the 3rd day and 32 Red Bulls later he awoke in his lab cover in an odd goo. His lab notebook was mostly unintelligible except for one page that had “stay awake” written a thousand times in every direction until the page was completely covered.
Turns out it is not that easy to stay awake and cancer cures will have to wait until this sleep problem is eradicated. Many other oncologists would proclaim they too will not sleep until they find a cure, but unfortunately – with our current medical knowledge – it is impossible. One must sleep. And cancer will continue until this major problem is solved.
