New Cosmetic Anesthesia Services Get Glowing Patient Reviews

CALABASAS, CA – Patient satisfaction has skyrocketed at a local California hospital after the decision to implement a Cosmetic Anesthesia program.  Surgical patients can now be treated to a facial and other spa procedures, compliments of their anesthesiologist or CRNA, while they are asleep in the OR.

Cucumbers have also replaced the traditional plastic tape over patients’ eyelids during surgical procedures, leading to a dramatic decrease in the number of patient complaints about missing eyelash extensions.  Initially, there was concern from the hospital’s anesthetists about the new cosmetic procedures cutting into naptime, and negatively-impacting Angry Birds scores, but the physicians and CRNAs have risen to the challenge.

The Cosmetic Anesthesia program is also helping these doctors and CRNAs gain some much needed recognition.  “I’ve never had a patient thank me for keeping them alive during surgery—they usually don’t even remember I was there!” said staff anesthesiologist Dr. Helen Sioux.

“Now patients are so happy when they wake-up and see the results of their intraoperative make-overs, that I get compliments all the time.”  If the success of this initiative continues, the hospital has considered adding a mandatory Cosmetic Anesthesia block to the residency training program.

Trainees would start with the basic skills of exfoliation and moisturizing, and progress to more advanced techniques like brow waxing and make-up contouring, made popular by the Kardashians.  The initiative has been a great success, and patients are encouraged to promote the new Cosmetic Anesthesia program by posting post-operative selfies to social media using the hashtags: #postopglow and #beautysleep.