| Ad text | Actual meaning |
| Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital |
The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will be coming out of your paycheck.
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| Prestigious university affiliation |
We paid dearly for that, too (also coming out of your paycheck). Don’t expect to get any “protected time,” either.
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| Up to $500,000 guaranteed base salary |
That’s if you work your butt off and generate 10,000 wRVUs per year. Otherwise, you’re getting minimum wage.
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| Comprehensive service line | We have a lot of mouths to feed here! |
| Integrative medicine approach |
Better play nice with the quacktors if you want to keep your job.
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| Join highly respected and busy providers in a fast-paced highly reputable Center of Excellence |
They just lifted our probationary status. Did we mention that you are going to work your butt off?
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| Strong economy with low unemployment |
All of your patients work at Wal-Mart, and Medicaid is the major payor.
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| Plethora of outdoor activities. Experience all 4 seasons! |
No cultural activities. Freezing cold winters and brutal, humid summers. Ever spend a summer in Chicago or St. Louis without AC?
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| Catchment area of 1,000,000! |
Six other medical centers are competing with us for patients.
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| Just 2 hours from a major metropolitan area! |
That’s 2 ½ hours when the traffic is light, and 3 ½ hours the rest of the time. Don’t worry–you won’t have time to go.
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| Low cost of living |
Nobody else wants to live here.
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| Multicultural setting |
You’ll need an interpreter for most of the visits. |
