LUBBOCK, TX – Finally fed up with all the bullying he was receiving from general surgeons, Dr. Froyd abandoned his post as Consultation-Liaison Psychiatrist at Lubbock General Hospital for a more lucrative career in the WWE, saying that he wanted to go somewhere where he would be “appreciated” for his “expertise.”
The stadium was packed on his debut night in the WWE arena, and the crowd had been well-lubricated by an hour and a half of top-quality wrestle-acting before Dr. Froyd made his appearance.
The apprehension was palpable to meet this new player, named “The Psycho” and for the early part of the evening, theories were passed between eager fans speculating about who would play “The Psycho” and what “his deal would be.”
After an excessive crowd-baiting introduction, Dr. Froyd walked up into the arena, fully decked out in his Warby Parker glasses, leather padfolio, and Brooks Brothers button down. The fervor quickly faded into confusion. His opponent, a stocky man named simply “Toaster,” delightedly began rapid firing some lewd facial expressions and suggestive body poses in the general direction of Dr. Froyd in attempts to rally the crowd. When he grabbed the microphone from the referee and said, “I’m going to crush this nerd,” Dr. Froyd, wasting no time, opened his padfolio and whipped out a pre-filled Mental Health Emergency Hold Form and handed it to the referee.
“This man is a danger to others,” he announced, “and therefore I place him on an involuntary 72-hour mental health hold.”
The crowd clapped a little, still not really sure what was happening. Just as the referee announced the legitimacy of the form, the bell signaled the end of the round, and Dr. Froyd was declared the victor, which was met by a couple of “whoops” from the crowd.
During the second round, Dr. Froyd proceeded to get to the foundation of his opponent’s aggression and the history of trauma that had colored his psyche. The bell went off, and Dr. Froyd was declared victor.
In the following three rounds, Dr. Froyd got a more in depth psychiatric history, along with a family history of mental illness. When he unveiled his opponent’s mothers drug abuse, the crowd audibly gasped, then cheered. From there, the excitement only continued to build. On review of systems, Dr. Froyd learned that the patient had been having racing thoughts. When he recommended his opponent start on a trial of Lithium, the crowd went wild.
In the final round, Dr. Froyd diagnosed the patient with bipolar disorder and recommended inpatient psychiatric treatment, and the crowd basically lost their minds. He walked off the arena with a flurry of bras raining down around him.
Dr. Froyd is now traveling with the WWE as a fan-favorite. Check out his jaw-dropping performance at a WWE show near you!
