Nation’s Surgeons Announce Plans to Sit on It

USA – In a unified statement from general surgeons across the country, the nation’s surgeons have announced a plan to sit on it until it “declares itself one way or the other.”

orthopedic surgeons
“I think we should just sit on it”

“If they need an operation, they will be the first to let us know,” spokes-surgeon Davy Fonzarelli announced to a gathering of emergency medicine, internal medicine, and GI doctors.

While the nation’s surgeons acknowledge that under traditional circumstances an operation would be indicated, they pushed the emergency medicine doctors to go ahead and admit to medicine, and reassure the internists that surgery will still follow along. Best to get GI involved sooner rather than later, though, since they definitely might need a scope maybe.

“I mean, really we should just be working on optimization before even starting to talk about surgery, and given that the exam and imaging are inconsistent its best that we just watch and wait,” Dr Fonzarelli told the visibly upset gathering of medical professionals using audible hand waving. “It’s just not something that we think needs to be rushed to the OR.”

As of press time, the nation’s surgeons were calling in the overnight OR staff for an emergency operation.

Surrounded in a world of amazing, caring and competent health care professionals, dannyshumerus dares to be different. His courage has been evident since his teenage years, when he was bravely cut from every one of his high school’s sports teams; soul adequately crushed and feeling disdain towards the rest of the human race, he realized he already had what it takes to be a doctor. Determined to see his dreams through, he worked hard and graduated medical school in the top 10% of the bottom 45% of the class. Dannyshumerus has made 11 playoff appearances in his fantasy football league since 2002 with 4 championships, a fact displayed prominently on his CV.
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