Somewhere, AL – Brock Hammersley has been very concerned as he has watched the Coronavirus spread across the globe. “To be honest, my biggest fear is that someone will expect me to help take care of a patient. I do chest compressions. That’s all I can contribute.” Hammersley admitted.
Fortunately, Orthopaedic Surgeons across the nation have been directed by Surgeon General Jerome Adams to shelter in place, specifically in Hospital gyms until the disease clears. Orthopods without gyms/workout facilities at their hospitals are directed to proceed to the nearest commercial exercise facility to similarly shelter.
“At first it was just the ortho bros in the gym each of us in our own areas maintaining 6 feet social distances. I was on hour 5 of bench pressing when our brilliant Joints surgeon John Shields realized we could wipe down our areas and rotate!! I thought I’d be stuck bench pressing for the entire quarantine period!” a relieved Hammersley said.
“We’ve set up a pretty solid rotation, shifting every 3 hours from curls to bench to squats to curls to bench to squats to curls to bench to curls… you get the idea. Also, it leaves the cardio area wide open for resting. You’d be surprised how comfortable a treadmill can be to sleep on!”
Hammersley is confident that once the all-clear has been declared that orthopods nationwide will be ready to come out of hiding. “We’re going to come out stronger, more muscular, more brawny, and with much bigger biceps than before!”
Hammersley returned to the benchpress right after this interview and promptly put up 450lbs with a primordial grunt reminiscent of a pig trying to jump a fence. He immediately jumped up looking to celebrate until he remembered that Brohugs are banned for another 57 days.
