WUHAN, CHINA – Chinese officials just released footage that show a Wuhan Virus Lab intern pounding vial after vial of Coronavirus instead of his Corona Beer. “You can tell by the footage, here and here, that our intern drank 3 vials of Coronavirus instead of his 6-pack of corona beer that he brought in, seen here” Chen Huagu told reporters while playing the Virology Lab’s footage for everyone. “His six-pack of beer stays a full six-pack throughout all of his chugging vial after vial of Coronavirus. He gets up to 7 or 8 vials before he notices his mistake.”
Wuhan’s Virology Lab is now “re-thinking” its beer in the lab policy after this fatal mix up.
“I was like whoa brah, I’m not even feeling these!” Intern Devon Koff told reporters. “I looked down after seven brewskis, which I thought was odd since I only brought six, and I still had more!” Dr. Koff “totally nabbed a sweet China gig” last year when he applied to intern at the now world famous virology lab.
Devon Koff, now known as patient zero, then left the lab to “score a pizza” where he started hugging “every babe and bro” he could find. This transmission of coronavirus couldn’t have catapulted off to a more catastrophic start if it was planned.
Interns are responsible for hundreds of patient deaths or “near misses” every year. This mistake certainly tops them all.
