ATLANTA, GA – To atone for the release of flawed testing kits for the detection of novel coronavirus, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has offered to make tens of thousands of flawed ventilators.
The CDC hopes this will help alleviate the demand in hard-hit areas like New York City.
“The CDC ventilators will look like a traditional mechanical ventilator but with a few subtle changes,” explained a CDC spokesperson. “The screen will be nonfunctional, the knobs will not be labeled, and it will not be compatible with endotracheal tubes. There will be no battery or plug, as it will be in off mode 24/7. It cannot be turned on. We think health care professionals will be pleased.”
Flawed ventilators will be the CDC’s best contribution yet to the fight against COVID-19.
