Nation Gives Fauci Permission to Take 15-Minute Power Nap

UNITED STATES – American citizens have given Dr. Anthony Fauci, the Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, permission to sneak in a 15-minute power nap, believing he has earned it, Gomerblog reports.

The world is facing an unprecedented challenge in COVID-19, and the American public has been thankful not only for Fauci’s expertise, but his ability to communicate the facts clearly and in a calm manner. He has been tireless in his efforts. For these reasons and his suggestion we watch Bob Ross videos to soothe our nerves, he has been rewarded with a nice bit of naptime.

American citizens from coast to coast have their alarms set to ensure that Fauci doesn’t oversleep by one single second.

It’s going to be a long fifteen minutes.

Dr. Fauci at White House briefing, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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