Bronx Tiger Tests Positive for COVID19; Tampa Tigers Test Positive for Carole Baskin’s 2nd Husband

Tampa, FL – When a 4-yr old Amur tiger at the Bronx Zoo tested positive for COVID-19 last week, medical and veterinary doctors alike were terrified. 

The head Veterinarian at Big Cat Rescue in Tampa, Florida Dr. Mitch Bruhkhurt immediately knew he needed to test all of the cool cats and kittens at Carole Baskins sanctuary. 

Fortunately, none of the estimated 54 big and small cats at the sanctuary tested positive for COVID 19. Interestingly, 2 of the park’s tigers tested positive for Jack Donald Lewis, Mrs. Baskins’ 2^nd husband who was declared legally dead after going missing nearly 2 decades ago. 

Dr. Bruhkhurt was suspicious of the test results, “Sure, the test said the two oldest tigers in the park had traces of Don Lewis in their GI system, but that could have been happened in any number of ways. It is a bit surprising as sardine oil usually breaks down the DNA of meat grind to the point that the species, let alone the individual is indeterminable.”

Park owner Carole Baskins was dismissive, “Those tests also said the tigers showed signs of being kept in cages too small for them to have natural movements as well, so its clear the tests cannot be trusted. Besides, Doc Antle has told me numerous times that there is no identifiable trace on a tiger days after they’ve eaten a ground up human, let alone 19 years and 325 days after! Its laughable, the whole thing really is.”

Joe Maldonado-Passage, better known as Joe Exotic, said he wasn’t surprised, “I’ve been telling ya’ll for years, right after she changed his will and forged his signature, she killed him, ground him up and fed him to those damn tigers! Now there is DNA proof that she done did it, I should be set free by the time my eyebrow ring falls off!