BETHLEHEM – Add another miracle to His already impressive resume: Jesus has offered humanity hope in its fight against COVID-19 by turning water into hand sanitizer.

The Son of God could no longer sit idly by, especially once He saw Kroger’s shelves still sat devoid of Purell.

“This is up there, alongside walking on water and raising the dead,” explained a proud papa, God, Creator of the Universe. “What a miracle! That’s my son!”

In other news, the masses are trying to not get greedy but are hopeful He can take these five rolls of toilet paper and supply the multitudes for months to come.