Lyrics to the Men’s Health Christmas Carol Favorite: “Check Your Balls”

It is the Season of Giving.  Don’t put your d*ck in a box to spread that Christmas cheer; instead, consider performing a testicular self-exam.  This holiday season, thanks to the American Urological Association (AUA), you can sing this testicular classic next time you’re in the shower.  Jingle balls, jingle balls, jingle all the way!

Check my balls, both shaft and scrotum, Fa la la la la la la la la!
In the shower by my lonesome, Fa la la la la la la la la!
Doc says now use thumb and fingers, Fa la la la la la la la la!
Press too hard and pain will linger, Fa la la la la la ouch ouch ouch!

Did I look for lumps and bumpies, Fa la la la la la la la la!
Size and shape and consistency, Fa la la la la la la la la!
Self-exam a merry measure, Fa la la la la la la la la!
Best in warmth when they’re descended, Fa la la la la la where’d they go?

Take my time, multiple passes, Fa la la la la la la la la!
Stay away from where my ass is, Fa la la la la la la la la!
Cough we joyous all together, Fa la la la la la cough cough cough!
Bag of worms none, I feel better, Fa la la la la until next month!