July Intern Looks Forward to Finding Out This Isn’t Worth It

CHAPEL HILL, NC – University of North Carolina internal medicine intern Warren Burke is about to embark on a long and exciting road, and today he confirmed with Gomerblog he absolutely looks forward to finding out that this totally isn’t worth it.  Not one bit.

intern physician worth it
I look forward to the day when I can reflect on my career and I am filled wholly with regret

“I’m a July intern and to say that I have little to learn would be extremely naive of me,” Burke rationally explained.  “I don’t know if it’ll be tomorrow, one month, several months, or several years.  All I know is that when reality hits me in the face, knocking a few teeth out in the process, I will be happy to have that epiphany, look myself in the mirror and say, ‘Wow, Warren, what the f**k did I get myself into?!’  I truly look forward to that moment.  That’s my dream.”

As he powers on his pager, which will forever control his life until he dies, Burke cannot contain his smile knowing that this is the beginning of the bitter end.

“I am optimistic that my optimism will slowly fade only to be replaced with sadness and exhaustion,” Burke told us with full confidence.  “What are we waiting for?  Let the disappointment begin!”

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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