Attending Loses Perspective, Can’t Find it Anywhere

confused doctor

NASHVILLE, TN – “I swear I just had it,” muttered 57-year-old vascular surgeon Tom Hatfield as he feverishly searched for his perspective under stacks of academic journals and negative resident performance reviews.  Hatfield had just finished rounds where he admonished his post-call resident for not researching a topic on endovascular repair of abdominal aneurysms. “He told me he had 12 admissions last night,” scoffed Hatfield as he sipped coffee in his plush leather chair. “But you have to learn to manage your time effectively.”

“Did I leave it in the cafeteria?” continued Hatfield, staring blankly through a window of his corner office.  “I really need to find it.  I’m about to meet with a group of residents about how they should invest in a home right after they graduate instead of wasting money on rentals.”

Lately, Hatfield can’t seem to hold on to his perspective.  Once he lost it for 3 years in a call room before finally rediscovering it after a particularly horrendous call night.  “I had to come in.  TWICE,” he said.

Hatfield continued to lambast the work ethic of “today’s young doctors” while he peered down hallways searching for his lost perspective.  “All they do is complain about work hours,” bemoaned the gray-haired surgeon. He appeared to then say “back in my day…” before trailing off.

Following a successful career as a doctor impersonator, Dr. Glaucomflecken decided to attend a real, accredited medical school and residency program. Now he spends his time treating eyeballs, occasionally forgetting that they belong to an actual human body. Dr. Glaucomflecken specializes in knowing where to look when talking to somebody with a lazy eye. He started writing for GomerBlog after being told to “publish or perish.” Follow me on Twitter @DGlaucomflecken
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