Hospitalist Spends Day After Christmas Returning Unwanted Admissions

MORGANTON, NC – Like most people in America, Dr. Lara Nottarg got some things for Christmas that she didn’t exactly want. Unlike most Americans, Dr. Nottarg was admitting patients on call at Boesler Memorial Hospital.

This morning while rounding, she realized that half of her patients didn’t need her services or meet inpatient medicine management criteria. Naturally she did what any good American does with unwanted Christmas “gifts”: she started returning them.

The alcoholic with no actual medical issues went back to ER bed 5.

The 23-year old with the tibia fracture and no PMHx went back to the Ortho service.

The 27-year-old suicidal woman transferred in with hyponatremia (sodium of 134) went back to the psych ward with her corrected sodium now at 135.

The grumpy 98-year-old incontinent DNR/DNI man went back to the nursing home he came from with a fresh Depends.

Asked what inspired her spree, Nottarg said she thought about a time when her grandma got her a Furby when she was a senior in college. “I returned it, got a new flask and never looked back.”

“If I wasn’t working today I’d be out returning unwanted Christmas gifts. So I figured why not bring a bit of the ‘after-Christmas spirit’ to Boesler Memorial?”