Shhh, Doctor Physically Tucking In Patients Before Heading Home

"Shhh, I just tucked him in"
tuck tucks patient
“Shhh, I just tucked him in”

PROVIDENCE, RI – It’s not uncommon for inpatient health care professionals to say they’re going to “tuck in their patients” before shift change or going home for the day.  However, one hospitalist named Dan Weaver has taken the phrase to heart and is physically tucking them all into bed tonight.

“Who’s a good patient?  Who’s a good patient?” Weaver asked his patient with a COPD exacerbation while sitting on the edge of his bed.  He points warmly at the patient before tucking him in.  “That’s right, you are!  Now, which story would you like to hear: Goldilocks and the Three Bears, or Sleeping Beauty?”

Colleagues have always said Weaver’s patients are usually tucked away pretty good whenever he leaves for the day, but this is the first time they ever heard about Weaver actually being involved with their sleep hygiene.

“I thought Dan was merely crossing his I’s and dotting his T’s, you know, making sure that every part of the patient’s plan was in motion,” explained Erica Favreau, a hospitalist who works alongside Weaver.  “He never drops the ball.  I didn’t realize he picked out their pajamas, made their beds, read them bedtime stories, tucked them in nicely, and even kissed them goodnight.”

Why does Weaver go over and above the call of duty to make sure his patients don’t act up in the middle of the night?”

“Not long ago, I mentioned that I had to go ‘tuck in my patients’ and I couldn’t stop thinking about the phrase.  I thought about how my parents would tuck me into bed every night and how I would sleep well because of it, I never made a peep,” Weaver fondly recalled.  “If it worked for me, I figured it might work on my patients and the night staff wouldn’t have to be bothered.”

Weaver shut off the light and kissed Gomerblog on the forehead before turning out the lights.  “Good night, Gomerblog,” Weaver said in a hushed, soothing voice.  “Sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite!”

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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