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Ask An Emotional Support Peacock

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Ask An Emotional Support Peacock
41857717 - a beautiful male peacock with expanded feathers

NEWARK, NJ – After recent news about an emotional support peacock being barred from a United Airlines flight departing from New Jersey, Gomerblog is pleased to announce that the bird has made itself available to field therapy-related questions from Gomerblog fans worldwide. Dexter, the emotional support peacock, is a board-certified clinical psychiatrist & Chair of the NYU Department of Psychiatry. The following are real questions sent via Gomerblog to Dexter by real Gomerblog fans.

“Lately I’ve developed a gripping fear of getting a call at 2am to order prn lozenges. Do you have any suggestions for coping when I become fixated on something like that?”Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram (“Lamenting Lozenge Liability”)

Dexter: (silence)

“I have great difficulty with insomnia, especially due to my frequency of night shifts. Do you recommend the use of benzodiazepines to treat sleep disorders?” — Anne Hedonia, RN (“Sleepless In Seattle”)

Dexter: (silence)

“I’m a hospital administrator and I’ve noticed that the doctors seem to be demonstrating symptoms of depression, especially when I keep nagging them about patient satisfaction scores. Do you have a preferred antidepressant that you’d suggest mixing into the food in the doctor’s lounge?” — Chlöe Less (“Ambitious Administrator In Agony”)

Dexter: (squawk, squawk)

Gomerblog thanks you for your excellent therapy-related questions. If you have any other questions you’d like to ask Dexter the Emotional Support Peacock, please tweet them to Dr. Pablo Pistola (@drpablopistola on Twitter).

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Dr Pablo Pistola had become increasingly dissatisfied with satisfaction-based forces in medicine. He felt like a doctor without a purpose. He subsequently embarked on a 7 year twerking quest in the Himalayan foothills to find his true calling. During this journey, he realized that he has a secret talent: his immense knowledge about women. He understands them. Legend has it that he can size up a woman’s soul in a mere instant. He didn’t ask for these powers. But with great powers come great responsibilities. So Dr Pablo Pistola (double-board certified in Love Medicine & Romance Medicine, with fellowship training in Seduction Medicine) has been dabbling in satirical erotic writing. And if satirical erotic writing can offer a viable exit strategy from medicine, then the world will be a better place. His responsibility is to bring the stories of lust to you. He also is an avid life-long Miami Heat fan. Follow him on twitter at @drpablopistola

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