Surgeon Arrested for Pimping Medical Students on Street Corner

Dr. Franklin Richard III was arrested late Saturday evening after a man in a purple zoot suit and crocs was seen allegedly slapping several men and women at the corner of State and Main at 1:00am. The men and women reportedly were wearing short white coats with formal dress underneath. It was later found that these were medical students.

When speaking with an anonymous student, she said she wanted to stay late and help out Dr. Richard to make sure she could get an “honors,” the highest possible grade, during her surgery rotation. She knew Dr. Richard had a notorious reputation for “pimping,” but she had no idea what she was really getting in to by staying late. “I thought ‘pimping’ meant ‘put in my place’ by answering tough questions, not literally ‘pimping’” said the tired-eyed student. “I never thought things would come to this.”

Dr. Richard, hands cuffed, was seen visibly sweating and heard shouting during his arrest. “You know nothing!” Dr. Richard screamed, foam dripping from his mouth, seemingly confused.
According to a pedestrian, the crazed physician was heard asking another young student at 12:30am: “you tell me what structure contains the ovarian vessels and I’ll let you off early.” Student responded “…the cardinal ligament?” Dr. Richard then screamed “HAH! It’s the suspensory ligament! Get back out there and don’t come back empty-handed!” The pediatrian watched as the student reportedly sprinted into the distance; the pedestrian then notified local authorities.

Since his arrest, Dr. Richard has been released by his employer and faces several felony charges. After the prominent surgeon’s arrest, one student was seen with his head in his hands, in tears. “I’ve failed him. Now I’ll never get in here,” cried the student, concerned that he will no longer be considered for a surgical position at the medical center where his rotation is taking place. The medical center has since launched an investigation into the practice of “pimping” at their institution.