Patient Care Cited as Major Hindrance to Workflow

burned out physician
"I am getting so burned out portraying these burned out doctors"

ATLANTA, GA – In a new study by the Centers of Disease Control & Prevention (CDC), patient care as been cited as the single major hindrance to workflow and possibly the greatest contributor to health care professional burnout.

“Think about the prior causes of burnout: charting, prior authorizations, electronic medical records,” explained Director of the CDC Robert R. Redfield. “What is the common denominator? Patients. If there were no patients, there would be no need for progress notes, charting, paperwork, or medical records. Perhaps we’ve been approaching burnout from the wrong angle.”

Recent research has estimated that only 20% of a resident’s time is spent on direct patient interaction and education; the other 80% involved indirect patient care in the form of documentation. Theoretically, eliminating patient care would free up not only the 20% of time in direct care but also the 80% of time in indirect care that depends on patient interaction in the first place.

Prior attempts at solving burnout either at the individual or system level have failed.

“I mean, we need something to change,” complained an anonymous health care professional. “It’s almost like 100% of my day’s tasks are related to patient care. What gives?!”

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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