ABIM Institutes Disneyland Inspired FastPass Option for MOC

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Responding to complaints about its ever increasing requirements for recertification, the ABIM has introduced an alternative offering, FastPass. For only an extra $5000 (with “nominal” yearly increases), candidates receive a variety of benefits, including:

1. Reduction in required MOC points from 100 to 5. Allowable MOC activities have been broadened to include, for example, TV medical shows; one hour’s viewing of “Gray’s Anatomy” will award 1 MOC point. “It’s amazing”, stated Dr. Beau Tochs. “I binge watched a whole season of ‘Botched’ and was done with my MOC requirement!”

2. An abbreviated exam, consisting of 10 questions that can easily be answered in 15 minutes. Dr. Sue Mee was thrilled: “The test was a breeze. I paid $3000 (they told me the extra $1000 was for administrative fees). One of the questions was ‘What is a patient with no heartbeat, breathing, or brain activity called’ and I correctly answered: ‘dead’. Piece of cake!”

3. Unlimited number of subspecialty certifications. “In an evening I became quintuple board certified!”, exclaimed Dr. Mo Money. “It was definitely worth the extra 25 grand!”

4. Customized exam with age appropriate questions: Dr. Rhett Eire, an 80 year old Internist, was especially gratified to see questions on his test related to the use of chloral hydrate for sleep and ID questions that listed only 2 antibiotic choices.

The ABIM will soon be adding an even more exclusive program: The Very Important Physician (VIP) Pass. Board spokesperson Dee Plorable explained, “For $10000 per year, not much more than most folks’ yearly Starbucks tab, we will simply certify that you’re good to go. No questions asked!”.

Surgical boards are considering similar programs, at double the price. Stay tuned.

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