After spreading the CDC’s gospel for healthcare workers exposed to
COVID-19 and lacking face masks to show up to work with their bandanas, health administrators also left their telehuddles (where it was decided that nurses salaries would be decreased to fund annual renovation of the executive suite) to direct patients in the ER during the pandemic.
In one day 1000 healthcare executives answered their hospitals’ calls for help showing up to help their ER and ICU employees in the front lines. They donned their chiffon scarves and cotton bandanas across their faces while screening patients for fever, cough, and travel to high disease prevalence areas.
“I knew the skills of checking off items on a clipboard would come to use at this pivotal time,” stated New North University’s CEO.
After taking 3 hours to screen 2 patients and helping them complete patient satisfaction surveys, the hospital CEO left reminding the ED physicians to document the highest paying ICD-10 code for COVID-19 and for the intensivists to complete the sepsis bundles to maximize executive year end bonus from the pandemic.
In a press conference later in the day, he thanked his fellow executives for answering the calls for help and revealed his groundbreaking plan to hire more hospital administrators to step up in times like these.
The CEO later went into a self-imposed 2 week self-quarantine despite having no symptoms. Both of the patients he screened also tested negative for COVID-19.
