CHIANG RAI, THAILAND – The world rejoiced when a brave team of cave divers rescued 12 boys and their soccer coach from the Tham Luang Cave.  Unfortunately Gomerblog has learned the 12 boys and coach have left Chiangrai Prachanukroh Hospital AMA (against medical advice) and are once again stuck in the flood-prone cave.

“It is not uncommon for people rescued from caves to go through alternating cycles of recovery and relapse,” said Thai cave specialist Dr. Evelyn Grotto.  “Despite all the advances we have made in medicine, we have no equivalent of a nicotine patch for those who go through cave-exploration withdrawal.  We can’t keep them here indefinitely, and we can’t keep them from going back into caves.  They know it all.  It’s for this exact reason we need more funding, research into this tragic condition, so we can improve the available treatment options.”

Each of the 13 members of the Wild Boars soccer team understood the risks and benefits of both leaving the hospital AMA and entering back into those dark, dank caves.  All 13 were deemed to have decision-making capacity.

The families of the boys and coach as well as the cave diver team are saddened by the news.

“All the 13 Wild Boars are now back into the cave,” posted the Thai Navy SEALS on their Facebook page.

The Wild Boars, however, want to reassure everyone that they will be just fine.

“We have hoarded enough turkey sandwiches from the doctors and nurses to ensure we can survive for another three weeks,” said the Wild Boars soccer coach Ekkapol Chantawong, who is also stealing several extra blankets for good measure.  “We also pilfered a nurse call light and have the overnight intern’s pager number, so I think we’re gonna be just fine.”

CHICAGO, IL – Despite the efforts of board members and peers to talk him into staying, current President of the American Medical Association (AMA), Dr. David O. Barbe, has officially signed out of his position AMA (against medical advice).

“We encouraged him to stay until we could safely discharge him at the end of his one-year term coming this June, but he insisted he had to go,” explained AMA CEO James L. Madara, hoping he doesn’t bounce back or end up going to another professional society.  “It is with great sadness that I confirm the rumor you’ve heard is indeed true: the AMA President has left the presidency AMA.”

The American Medical Association (AMA) was founded in 1847 and is the largest association of physicians in the United States.  Despite the many accomplishments over its storied history, the AMA has been plagued by the same recurrent issue: its appointed presidents leaving before the end of their one-year term.

Last June, Barbe was inaugurated as the 172nd President of the AMA.  Today he becomes the 172nd President to leave AMA.

“Isn’t that crazy?  We’ve had 172 presidents and not a single discharge,” Madara communicated with grave disappointment.  “I’m not sure how, but I believe that’s gonna be a red flag for our quality metrics.”

The American Urological Association (AUA) offered condolences as well as advice, citing their tremendous expertise when it comes to retention.