Work Note Center Opens in Times Square, Deadbeats Rejoice

NEW YORK, NY – What’s all the commotion in Times Square?  Not another Naked Cowboy, it’s the new Walk-In Work Note Center.  Based on the model of walk-in urgent care centers, patrons are lining up around the block just to get a work note.  Founded by emergency physician Dr. Gehrich R. Diitriing, business has been booming despite only being open a month.  GomerBlog secured an exclusive interview about Dr. Diitriing’s business model and learned how this brilliant business got its start.

“Well, I just got tired of all those patients coming to my emergency department, lying about diseases just to get a lousy work note; and I thought, there has to be a more honest way to get out of work… and that’s when it hit me,” stated Diitriing.  This free-standing Work Note Center accepts no insurance and puts the honesty back in playing hooky from work “like the good old days” reminisces Diitriing as a tear welled up in his eye.

Offering flat rate fees for one, two, or even three days off, patients no longer have to expose themselves to unnecessary radiation of advanced imaging, needle pokes, or other crazy diagnostic workups just for a few days off.

Chatting with Joey Jobless, a four-time returning customer waiting in line said, “This is the greatest thing since sliced bread as you no longer have to make up symptoms and wait in ER lines for hours for just one measly day off… I can’t wait to come back next week!”

The enthusiasm is palpable.  The staff are amazingly cheerful and pleasant and absent are the snarky ER nurses.  Speaking to the charge nurse Barbara Dolly, she stated, “I just love the high energy of this environment, the passion of the staff, and the patients are just wonderful, so honest and forthcoming.  Gone are those ED days of patients cussing and screaming.”

On our way out the door (after getting three-day work note for GomerBlog, of course) we asked Dr. Diitriing if he had any future plans for expanded business operations.  “Not sure, yet,” he states.  “I think we have a recipe for success, but this business model needs something more, maybe an OTB or Pawn Shop in the waiting room, or even a drive-thru opioid line.”