Home Anesthesiology Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot to Craft the Perfect Ham and Cheese Sandwich

Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot to Craft the Perfect Ham and Cheese Sandwich

Gomerblog Team
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94
"The perfect sandwich..crafted in a simple 8 hours"

CLEVELAND, OH – After finishing up his cases for the day, an oncological surgeon brought sandwich supplies with him to a vacant operating room and began setting up a sterile field.  “I’ve always wanted to do this,” said the veteran surgeon as he positioned the 4 arm $1.5 million piece of machinery over 2 pieces of whole grain bread, 4 slices of Virginia ham, 2 pieces of provolone cheese, 2 fresh tomato slices, several pieces of lettuce, and a container of Grey Poupon mustard.

davinci robot
“The perfect sandwich..crafted in a simple 8 hours”

As he sat at the da Vinci control station and admired the three-dimensional view of his ingredients, he began to drool, carelessly allowing saliva to drip onto his scrubs.  “11 hours since I’ve eaten anything, but this’ll make up for it,” he muttered to himself as he excitedly began assembling his sandwich with a robotic instrument system that represents the pinnacle of modern surgical technology.

“Right from the get go I knew the da Vinci’s minimally invasive approach had clear applications for sandwich construction.  I wasn’t surprised to read that the technique was eventually shown to be correlated with increases in post prandial consumer satisfaction as well as improved long term digestive outcomes.”

With two da Vinci arms, he precisely stacked the ham, cheese, lettuce, and tomato slices on one whole grain bread slice before using the other two arms to handle the Poupon container and a scalpel to spread its contents evenly over the second bread slice.

“Now for the best part,” the surgeon said, as he manipulated the cauterizer so as to divide the three-dimensional square sandwich image into two irresistible triangular halves.  “The only drawback is not being able to use the da Vinci to actually eat the sandwich.  Well that and the fact that this took me eight times as long as the traditional method, but at least I had fun.”

94 COMMENTS

  38. Hahaha! Carlo, remember when I joked that the da Vinci could be used to carve turkeys?

    Can we do a time out prior to making the sandwich? Are we verifying allergies to gluten?

  49. SUNNYVALE, Calif. — (Mealey’s) Intuitive Surgical Inc. on April 8 announced that it has taken a $67 million charge against 2014 earnings to settle an unspecified number of product liability claims involving the company’s da Vinci surgical robot. In a press release, Intuitive said the $67 million is the estimated cost of settling claims alleging complications from surgeries performed with certain versions of the Monopolar Curved Scissors (MCS) instruments that were recalled in 2013 and with a first-generation MCS tip cover that was withdrawn in 2012. It said the estimated settlement amounts apply to legal claims that were tolled, the oldest of which dates back to October 2012.

  67. As a robotic surgeon I must say the robot is an amazing tool for the right candidate and has saved many pts a potential TAH. It is only as good as the surgeon behind it though. Or sandwich artist

  68. As a robotic surgeon I must say the robot is an amazing tool for the right candidate and has saved many pts a potential TAH. It is only as good as the surgeon behind it though. Or sandwich artist

  81. When I worked in Sarasota Fl, several of the Gyn docs stopped offering it as an option because it was not worth the time to them in relation to what they were paid for the procedure. They could do 3 lavh in the same time.

  82. When I worked in Sarasota Fl, several of the Gyn docs stopped offering it as an option because it was not worth the time to them in relation to what they were paid for the procedure. They could do 3 lavh in the same time.

  85. Stephen Smith
    Michael Davison
    Larry L. Patrick
    Robert Wyatt
    Burt Smith
    Crystal Robertson
    Ron Snelling
    Paul Richardson
    I’m totally buying the 8 X as long!

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