Breaking: Anti-Vaxxers Refusing Cooties Shot

ATLANTA, GA – Gomerblog has just learned that the anti-vaccination (or anti-vaxxer) movement has now pledged to refuse vaccination against the cooties, this on the heels of a recent Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announcement about the potential for an outbreak in school-aged children.

Anti-vaxxers have cited numerous concerns, such as the ”Circle, circle, dot, dot, now you’ve got the cooties shot!” is tainted with mercury, and the “Circle, circle, knife, knife, now you’ve got it [immunity] all your life!” not only causes autism but also causes traumatic injury since the vaccine is performed using real knives.¹  Though all of these arguments have been debunked, the sentiment prevails.  The cooties vaccine remains the only vaccine in modern medicine that can be provided by both health care professionals and children who simply know the rhyme.

References
1. Wakefield, A. J. “Cooties vaccination associated with a significant increase in development of type 3 diabetes and dragon pox: a double-blinded, randomized, placebo-controlled trial” Lancet 420.69 (2017): 77-80.