Intern Reads A Full UpToDate Article, Becomes Annoying Expert on the Subject

KEARNEY, NE – Dr. Lacy Rash, a transitional dermatology intern at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH), behaved with a noticeable sense of entitlement and reverence after she found 10 uninterrupted minutes to read a full UpToDate article on Vow Willenbrand’s Disease (VWD).

The arrogant cocoon of a doctor, who did not even know of the disease’s existence until yesterday, was quibbling studies on rounds as if she was the chief investigator.  “Yep, it’s a complex spectrum of disease without a clear clinical…” uttered the miserable sycophant, who only two days ago would agree that Von Willenbrand was an 18th century pirate.

“It’s a real treatment challenge,” went on the clueless intern to a Dr. Lou-Kimmie Ya, a hematologist overseeing the VWD clinic at KHH.  Lacy did not mention that reading UpToDate helped her fall asleep during ACGME mandated nap time.

“A complex battery of tests may produce a questionable picture,” continued the clueless doctor who earlier in the day ordered 20 sets of cardiac enzymes on a patient with heartburn.

“Factor eight assay is the key,” blabbered the gunner to a Dr. Ann T. Gen, a hematology fellow who completed a four-year Ph.D. on coagulation disorders.

Eventually, the medical team grew thoroughly tired of brown noser’s shenanigans and sent her to disimpact a high rectal fecalith.

Later in the day, Dr. Rash opined that her order of 800 grams of potassium chloride for a patient “should hit the sweet spot.”