‘I Don’t Need Reading Glasses’ Says Patient Holding Everything at Arm’s Length

KNOXVILLE, TN – Holding a magazine as far as his arm will allow, local man Harold Chou confidently announced at a local eye clinic this afternoon that he “didn’t need any stupid reading glasses.”  Other patients in the ophthalmology clinic waiting room reported seeing Chou hold multiple objects far away from his eyes, including his phone, a brochure about cataract surgery, and his own 3-month-old grandchild, Robert.  Occasionally Chou was seen extending his neck as far as possible in order to maximize the distance between his eyes and whatever he happened to be holding at the time.  “See, this is fine,” he stated.

“I wasn’t even sure his arms bent like normal people,” said clinic patient and owner of prescription bifocals, Lynn Stevens.  “Maybe he doesn’t have elbows.  Poor guy.”

During his clinic encounter with his ophthalmologist, Chou continued to insist that he didn’t need reading glasses.  “Why do I need to read anyway?” announced an incensed Chou.  “If something is important enough to read, it’ll be written in big letters.”

At he was leaving the exam room, Chou was heard asking the doctor if there was anything he could take that would increase the length of his arms.